


Dear Diary: Sailor Moon's Horrifying Adventures

by SailorSilverLadybug



Category: Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon | Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon (Anime & Manga)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-10
Updated: 2019-03-11
Packaged: 2019-11-14 16:26:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 7
Words: 33,027
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18055991
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SailorSilverLadybug/pseuds/SailorSilverLadybug
Summary: When a strange talking cat tells Tsukino Usagi she is a superhero, she just doesn't believe it. She thinks she's dreaming, and begins writing in a diary to see if any of it is real when she wakes up. Rating M for innuendo, and possible future Lemons.





	1. Week One

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Sailor Moon
> 
> Note: Okay... I much prefer the manga story line... but I will probably add in the Anime monsters and some of those stories too, just to see what I can do with them. Probably this will eventually end up AU, as I tend to follow my whims when it comes to writing...
> 
> Note: The writing is supposed to be a bit messy and chaotic... written by a fourteen year old girl. Keep that in mind as you're reading.
> 
> Note: So far I only have six chapters done, but I'm hoping to get another one in as soon as I finish transferring what I have.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Monday (Day 1)  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Dear Diary,

Today was the STRANGEST DAY EVER!

You see, I woke up late, which isn't all that strange really. With those weird dreams that wake me up so often, I tend to sleep in more than I should. But I'm afraid to tell anyone about them. No one would understand. I mean, I don't really even understand. But more about that later.

So I leave for school, no big deal except, like usual, I'm running just as fast as my feet can take me. Until I hear these stupid boys... those same ones I had to chase away from picking on Shingo... and they were tormenting this little black cat. And she was so small and helpless I just had to help. You can understand that right? I mean, who wouldn't stop to help? So anyways I get the boys to run away, and even though the cat was scared and scratched me a few times I was able to take the Band-Aids off her fur. YES! BAND-AIDS! Those boys are so ROTTEN!

So the cat jumps away, and then I remember I have to get to school, except now I'm REALLY LATE! I run some more, and end up getting stuck out in the hall... again. It's just so unfair! So anyways, then Naru says her mom is having a sale. She runs OSA-P Jewelry, which is a pretty swanky store. But anyways, then I go with her after school, which was kinda cool, but there was really only one thing there I liked... this little moon pendant. Unfortunately, since I bombed my stupid test I knew there was no way I could ask for it.

So I go outside, and I'm a bit upset and feeling bad, and I stupidly crumpled up the test and threw it over my shoulder. And then this boy, who I will not admit for a second was cute, snaps at me that he isn't a trashcan and then HE LOOKED AT MY GRADE! He made me feel really bad about it too! He called me Odango Atama. I am NOT a dumpling head!

Eventually I lost my temper and stormed off. It just wasn't fair. I was already having a bad day, and he was just so MEAN! Why did he have to pick on me? And it's not like I'm stupid. It's just those dreams...

So anyway, I get home, and show my mom the test, and she's all like "USAGI! OUTSIDE!" and wont let me eat any dinner. I really hate that. Then Shingo comes home and teases me and says he wishes he didn't have a stupid sister, and slams the door in my face, and I do the Sailor V kick, but it hurt bad, all the way up my leg.

Finally I get upstairs and do some of my homework and then I was just so tired I laid down. I couldn't help myself! And then I started having what I think might have been a dream, but it wasn't my normal dream. Although, I'm kind of glad it wasn't the normal one.

The cat I rescued comes in my window and wakes me up and says I'm some sort of super-hero... thing... and gives me a brooch. She tells me to yell "MOON PRISM POWER MAKE UP!" So then all of a sudden I'm lifted right up off the floor and I'm spinning, and hearing music in my head, and my CLOTHES DISAPPEAR! Then these ribbons come shooting out of the brooch, and they make new clothing.

The cat, who says her name is Luna, called the outfit a fuku. It's white and has a little blue skirt, and a big red bow that covers my breasts, and the brooch sits on the center of the bow, and I have these pretty white gloves and red high heeled boots, and this choker on my neck and earrings in my UNPIERCED EARS! Then these little red things show up in my hair buns and all of a sudden I can hear Naru in my head, and she's upset and scared.

So I jump through my bedroom window, without even thinking about it, and I take off running, and I get to the Jewelry store, and there is this... thing (Luna says it's a Youma) attacking my best friend. And these weird words come popping out of my mouth about how I'm the Protector of Love and Justice, Sailor Moon. And I have to start fighting. And let me tell you... fighting is not easy, or fun, or SANE. I fell several times, got tons of cuts and bruises, and then this all got so overwhelming I started to cry. Those things in my buns amplified the sound, and Luna was yelling at me, and I just wanted to go home.

And then, I heard HIS voice. I'm not sure what he calls himself but I named him Tuxedo Kamen cause he wears a tux and a white domino mask... and a top hat and a cape with a red lining. So he tells me I have to fight, and when he says that I just start to feel stronger, like if he's there, I can do it. So I take off my tiara and yell "MOON TIARA ACTION!" And then the Youma thing turns to dust right in front of my eyes!

I finally get back home, and part of me wanted to go to sleep right away, but then I thought... If this isn't a dream, I will need some sort of proof for myself... so here I am, and it's actually now already Tuesday morning. UGH! And I have to go to bed. But if I can still see this journal in the morning, then I will know it isn't a dream. I suppose I could have just talked to Luna... but what if I'm crazy?

Tsukino Usagi - Sailor Moon?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Tuesday (Day 2)  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Dear Diary,

Apparently... not a dream. UGH! I'm sitting in English Class right now, (totally supposed to be taking notes) and I'm feeling a little dazed and confused. Naru has been talking about the attack at the jewelry store all day, and I don't even want to think about it. I mean, if it was real... what if it happens again and I have to fight more scary Youma monster things? Which are GROSS!

Already today has been hard. I woke up late... not only the dreams, but now I'm physically and mentally exhausted. My cuts and bruises are mostly healed except this one bad one on my shoulder. UGH again! I run out of the house, with just a piece of toast for breakfast, and then I run smack into a human WALL. That guy, the one who teased me yesterday, he was in the middle of the sidewalk just past my street, and I didn't see him and apparently he didn't see me, and we collided, and bam I was on the ground. And it wasn't really my butt that hurt or even my shoulder, but my PRIDE!

What does he do instead of asking if I'm okay? He YELLS at me. I had tried to apologize but he just starts insulting me, and finally I couldn't take it and I called him a baka and ran away! I got to school late... two days in a row and Haruna-sensei was mad. She made me stand in the hall again. But this time I started to fall asleep, and the dream started so I jumped up and down the rest of the time so I wouldn't fall asleep again. No one needs to hear that...

What's so bad about a dream you ask? Okay, let me tell you. I'm just going to take you through it as I see it, okay?

First, it's okay. I'm a bit bored because there are all these older people and they're talking in front of the throne. Yes, throne. And I'm standing all by myself. But then I start thinking I don't want to be there, and my feet are walking, and even though I've tried to change things in the dream a million times, it always goes the same.

I walk to this open area, and there is the EARTH hanging in the sky where the moon is supposed to be. So I look around, and I realize I'm ON the MOON! But I want to be on the Earth, so a minute later I just appear there. And I'm standing behind this tree, and there's this boy. I can never see his face clearly. But he has all this thick black hair that keeps falling into his eyes...

I don't want him to see me, so I stay hidden while he practices his sword with a few other men, but I can't see them clearly either. The guy looks up suddenly, but I know I didn't make a single sound... but he looks right at me, and he waves the other men away.

And then the dream changes. We're in a garden, and there's a fountain and roses and birds and all kinds of things. He's holding the dream version of myself, and even though I don't want to in my own head, the dream me lets him kiss us. And it turns into more than a kiss. He lays me down in the grass, and starts to lift my dress.

And I'm trapped there while he's doing... stuff... to me. He takes his clothes off, and mine, and then he's pushing between my legs. And it hurts on the inside, but he's really sweet and gentle, and the dream me likes it, even though there's a feeling like it shouldn't be happening because it isn't allowed and the dream me is afraid to get caught.

And then the dream changes and the woman on the throne, who I learn is dream-me's mother... well she's talking to the parents of the boy, who is actually the Prince of EARTH! And they decide we have to get married soon before... something happens, but I don't understand what it is. I hear the word (name?) Metallia and something about Beryl, who dream me doesn't like and is slightly afraid of.

The prince keeps grabbing my hand and soothing me, and all I know is that he makes me feel safe. And our parents are talking about a Soul-Bonding ceremony and they tell us it has to happen now, and the prince leads me to away... We walk down this long hallway and he tells me it won't hurt because we've already been together.

And then we're in a room and this man says these words over us and then watches as the prince does... the stuff... again with dream me. There's all this light and music and a warm breeze, except there isn't any wind on the moon. And even though we are technically hidden from sight under this weird canopy thing, the man stays in the room until this bright white dome appears over us, and then he says it is done and calls our parents into the room. But the prince and dream me are still doing... that... under the dome, and its like dream me doesn't notice them, but I do.

And then the dream changes again and the Prince is waiting for me at the bottom of a grand staircase, and we dance, and he kisses me. And the dream me looks over at the woman on the throne and she nods and smiles. So then I think everything is going to be okay. The Queen says that it's a beautiful engagement party, and I don't understand why they had us do the Soul-Bond thing... if that wasn't the marriage thing.

The prince pulls me out onto a balcony, and he lays me on a bench and starts kissing me again, and he gets a bit... more wild... than the first few times, which scares me, but dream me seems to like it... a lot. They kiss harder, and he holds tighter and then it feels so good for a few minutes that I forget I am dreaming.

And then the dream changes again, and we're in this big room on Earth, and his four generals are there, and he's wearing a sword and looking fierce, even though I still can't really see his face, I know he's angry and worried. And there are four girls, and they are behind me, and I can't see their faces either, and they are yelling at the generals not to do... something. Go after someone. They actually start begging and crying, and all I want is for everyone to be safe and happy, but dream me thinks everyone is going to die.

And then I'm back on the moon... The girls are screaming because the prince has come to tell them the enemy took the generals, and he doesn't know if he can get them back. Dream me is holding them and crying and the prince stares at me and we both know we've just lost hope.

Then there's smoke and ash and screams and the sound of a great battle. Not just the sounds of swords, but of some sort of whooshing, like energy being thrown. And dream me is sobbing, kneeling on the ground...

The four girls are lying around, dead. Their fuku are torn and bloody, and each of them has been stabbed in the belly. And the four generals are laying over them or beside them and the swords are still in them because they killed themselves after being forced to kill the ones they loved. Dream me somehow knows this is what happened, but doesn't understand how it was done.

And then the prince is there, and he's trying to get me to hide, but dream me tells him I have to find my mother, and so I go towards the castle, and he takes my hand and leads me there. His sword is out... and we get to the entrance and the doors are open. We go out onto the steps... and there's this woman with long red hair and she starts yelling for the prince to join her. He says no, that the Earth and the Moon have always had an alliance, and that she'd perverted his people.

And she starts screaming that the moon people have always watched the earth people and that we are all horrible and tells him she's going to destroy all of us. She lifts her hands and this black column comes out and right at dream me... and the boy steps in between and gets hit instead, and I'm screaming his name. Endymion. And I'm holding him and crying as he dies. He tries to reach up and touch my face, but he's just too weak. And as soon as he takes his last breath dream me picks up the sword and plunges it into my belly... and I fall on top of Endymion the way the generals had fallen on the girls.

When I wake up I feel like I'm still being stabbed. It hurts for several long minutes, and sometimes it hurts so bad I lean over and have to be sick in my trashcan. There are times when the pain lasts for hours.

So yeah, no one needs to hear/see me do that.

Tsukino Usagi

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Thursday (Day 4)  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Dear Diary,

LUNA IS DRIVING ME CRAZY! It's all, 'find the moon princess' this, and 'duty to the Silver Crystal' that, and 'we have to find the other Senshi' the other... AND SHE NEVER STOPS TALKING! I swear! I don't get a moment's rest. You add that to all the dreams, to the going out and surveying the city, watching for trouble, to the school work and chores and homework, and that BAKA Chiba Mamoru always teasing me now and just... oh, everything.

I'm tried and I'm frustrated, and my grades are getting worse! And the more tired I am the worse the dreams seem to get. It's like it gets harder and harder to separate myself from dream me, and then I wake up screaming, or if I wake up in the middle there are all these weird feelings in my body, and I want to find a way to relieve it, but I don't want to do THAT in real life. NOT YET!

I'm fourteen years old for crying out loud. I'm in eighth grade, in middle school... and all I really want is to go to the arcade and have chocolate milkshakes and play Sailor V, and maybe stare a little at Motoki-onii-san. Cause it's harmless to stare at him. He has a girlfriend, so he would never want to do THAT with me. And now, even that is ruined because Mamoru-Baka seems to spend every afternoon at the arcade all of a sudden, and plus Luna says our base is there, and I just want to be a normal girl!

And every day I end up running into Mamoru-baka. I mean that literally! Three days in a row before school... and once after school. Today in fact, when Luna and I were sneaking around trying to find out about the radio station. Cause there's something on the news about this sleeping sickness, but everyone who has it had a letter get read on the news on that talk show about love.

Luna and I couldn't even get in, and she gave me a disguise pen and wants me to go back after my family goes to bed. I really don't want to.

Tsukino, Usagi.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Friday (Day 5)  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Dear Diary,

So I ended up in another battle last night. Except this time there was a man there with the Youma. He looked so familiar, but I can't figure out from where. I had to fight and he disappeared, and eventually I won, but it was close. I broke two of my fingers. They're almost healed now. Been almost twenty-four hours... but still. I'm not sure how I'm going to hide all these new injuries. Everyone knows I have klutz attacks, but even I'm not that bad.

I started having new dreams... and even though people aren't dying in them, they're almost as scary. It's dreams about Tuxedo Kamen, and he keeps trying to get me to do the things from the other dreams, and even though part of me says I'm not ready, the rest of me wants to, and then he starts to kiss me and I can't think, and then he is touching me places... and somehow it feels good and bad at the same time.

Cause here's the thing... In the other dreams I know I'm technically not the one it's happening to... but in these dreams it really is me. And sometimes in the dreams (and this is the second night I've had them, plus one when I fell asleep in class today) I can feel things happen, and it still feels real when I wake up. Like when he did THAT and pushed inside, for a minute after I woke up, mostly in shock, I felt it while I was awake, the same way I feel the sword, before it disappeared.

And so even awake I know what we've done. But when it's happening I want it almost as much as he does. But at the same time I don't! AGGGHHH! It's so confusing.

I'm sitting in a booth at the arcade now, and every time I look up my eyes are drawn to that thick black hair on Mamoru-baka's head... and I want to put my fingers in it. I'm NOT like that! I'm NOT a bad girl! What is wrong with me?

Tsukino Usagi

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Sunday (Day 7)  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Dear Diary,

DREAMS SUCK!

Yesterday I was in the park and Mamoru-baka came up and talked to me, and he was teasing me and he pulled one of the pigtails from my buns, and then laughed and called me Odango Atama again. And now HE'S IN MY DREAMS TOO! What is wrong with me!? None of this makes any sense... But at the very least with Mamoru, I know who he is!

Cause in my dreams Mamoru-baka acts with me like the prince and princess did when they were on the balcony, and it's all hot and I like it, but then when I wake up I feel like I've done something wrong! None of this makes any sense anymore. I just want to be a normal girl.

Luna says there is something strange we need to look into, plus I have to patrol. More later.

Tsukino Usagi


	2. Week Two

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Monday (Day 8)  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Dear Diary,

PLEASE SAVE ME! I don't want to be Sailor Moon! I don't want to have dreams anymore! I don't want to remember the dreams I've already had...

Okay. I'm better now. I just had to vent. You know what it's like? When you have a secret you cant ever tell anyone and you have a whole bunch of responsibility and its really scary and stuff. Yeah... That. And it's not just the secret itself, but what the secret means. I have a family.

There's my mom. Her name is Ikuko and she is really beautiful and nice and loving, and the BEST COOK EVER! She stays home and takes care of us, even though I know it wasn't always what she wanted. But she says she's happy to be a mom, and it makes her life better. She does all sorts of stuff for us, like making lunches and breakfasts and dinners and cleaning and cooking and shopping and always tries to help me with my math, even though I think she's worse than I am. She can be strict, but she's fair. She is funny too, especially around my dad.

His name is Kenji, and he's a reporter. He is overprotective and a bit insane when it comes to boys. I remember once, when I was twelve, this boy in class dropped off my missed work when I was sick and dad chased him down the driveway pelting socks at him. Dirty socks. That was so funny! He is really awesome. He likes to do stuff with us kids. Shingo and I even got him to play Sailor V with us!

Shingo. That's my little brother. He's really smart, but I won't tell him that. Nope, big sister rules, you know? Seriously though, he is actually not bad for a little brother. I mean, I know we fight and tease a bit, but I love him. And I know he loves me too. Even if he pretends to gag whenever I tell him. He is really smart though... and sometimes that can be a problem. Because some of the kids pick on him. It MAKES ME SO MAD! I just want to... to PUNISH THEM! Don't tell Luna I said that. Hee hee.

I have a cousin too. Haruki. He will be moving here, I think mom said in the next few weeks. His mom and my mom were twin sisters, and then when his mom died his dad took him and moved away so he could get away from the sad memories. But now his dad has terminal cancer. It's really sad. My mom cried about it at the dinner table. He will be moving in with us in a few weeks, and my uncle is going into Hospice, which means a nursing home meant for dying people.

I really love Haruki and I wish he didn't have so much to be sad about. He was always such a happy kid, a lot like me. He's almost seventeen! So much older than me. Maybe he can scare off that jerk Mamoru who KEEPS TEASING ME!

I didn't even tell you about that yet... Hold on... I have to talk to Luna. I'll be back.

I'm Back!

Okay, so, one thing I didn't talk about last week, because I have to admit, I was a little embarrassed about it, was that I'd considered writing into the Radio Show, you know, the one with the Romantic Letters that was actually a fake show and was being run by a Youma? Yeah, that one. Well, I'd been thinking about writing a letter to Tuxedo Kamen, because I thought maybe I might love him. Luna said it was stupid, and eventually I listened.

Okay, but before I listened, I had the first few lines of a letter written. It said:   
Dear Tuxedo Kamen, I want to thank you for saving me. I think you are really sweet and cute.

Yes, I am in fact, that stupid, to leave a letter like that IN MY BACKPACK! Ugh. So today, when I was in the arcade, getting ready to play Sailor V, I was searching the bottom of my bag for some tokens and the letter fell out. Well, I didn't get to it before Mamoru did! UGH! And he read it and started laughing, and then he asked me where I was on the night of the Jewelry Store attack... and I was so flustered my face turned bright red and he starts telling me I have a dumpling brain to go along with my dumpling head, and basically says I was stupid for going out.

I was so upset I didn't even play Sailor V. I just ran out of the arcade, crying like a baby. Maybe I really AM a crybaby after all. HE JUST MAKES ME SO MAD! I mean, what did I ever do to him? I mean, sure, I hit him with a crumpled up test paper. Sure. But it's not like one tiny piece of crumpled paper can hurt someone. It wasn't like I threw a barbell at him or anything!

And now we seem to LITERALLY run into each other everywhere. Now he's at the arcade all the time too, and I just don't know what to do. And sometimes I can feel him getting closer and closer before he gets there, and I try to go a different way, but it's like I'm being pulled toward him by an invisible string that I can't even find to cut!

It's hard to look him in the face, because what if he figures it out about the DREAMS? I mean, what if he can see them in my eyes or something. I know it sounds crazy, but sometimes it feels like he can read my mind! And it's not like the dreams are, you know, PG rated. I have no control over the first one, the one I've been having for a while.

But shouldn't I have some control over the dreams with either Tuxedo Kamen or Mamoru? And the worst part is, I feel the exact same about all three of them. Its like I'm falling in love with three different guys, and I can NEVER TELL A SOUL! I just wish I knew WHY!

Anyways, today at school people were starting to act a bit strange. Like they were all really excited about becoming idols, and I don't know. I guess part of me feels that way too, but I am so much more suspicious than I used to be.

Tsukino Usagi

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Tuesday (Day 9)  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Dear Diary,

Something strange is going on. Very strange. I thought this morning, maybe things were a bit too good to be true. Haruna-sensei wasn't acting normal. The other students were just plain bizarre... Nothing is right. I felt a strange... atmosphere? I don't know if that's the right word. But no one was acting normally. They all want to be idols all of a sudden. Pop-stars. But they can't ALL be pop-stars. Can they?

Naru wants me to sing a duet with her. Part of me wants to... like, really, really wants to. Which doesn't make sense. I mean for a little while I felt myself getting really excited, like the mood was catching or something. And then I felt this pressure and warmth in my chest, and all of a sudden I was feeling grossed out about the whole thing, like it was really wrong. What do you think it means?

CONTINUED...

Okay, so school ended and everyone sort of went crazy. They all want people to ask for their autographs and all this other weird stuff... booking trainers and finding talent agents and... oh I don't know. I can't figure out what is going on! Luna says we have to find out what's happening. As if I hadn't already figured that out. These are my friends!

So now, I'm sitting in the arcade, trying to figure out where I should look. I'm thinking concerts or talent agencies or something. I've got the phone book, and I'm making a list, but I figured I needed to take break and drink this giant chocolate shake sitting in front of me... hee hee.

So, yeah, that's what's going on... except the reason I'm taking a break is that Mamoru started staring at me like I was doing something suspicious. I have Luna hiding under the table on the bench beside me, and I put my school bag over the phone book, and now I'm just gonna sit here and pretend to be a normal teenage girl. 

HA! Normal my left foot! I just can't wait until Haruki gets here. That Mamoru won't bother me anymore! I can guarantee it! HE WONT STOP STARING! He's glaring at me! What could I have possibly done wrong now? I haven't even said a word... crap!

CONTINUED...

Okay, it's late now, and I'm at home, which I guess maybe I should leave my diary at home, but there really is no safer place than my subspace pocket.

What's that? you ask...

My subspace pocket is like... a place... where stuff I need to get disappears to, then reappears the moment I reach for it. Luna says it's endless, but I can't enter it myself. I don't really understand all of it... she started using words in a different language (from a planet called Mau) and my brain hurt. Hee hee.

Okay, so anyways... Mamoru decided he had to come figure out what the hell I was doing TALKING TO MY CAT and ACTING SMART! What the hell!? I mean I'm not stupid. I hate that he thinks that about me. I don't fail everything. It's just the dreams... More on THAT later... just remind me. Hee hee. I know you can't cause you're a book. Silly Usagi...

Anyways, I tried to pretend I wasn't doing anything, and made an excuse to leave the arcade, but Mamoru followed me. He says he thinks I'm suspicious. Well I was like, "Mamoru-baka, you need to leave me alone or I'll tell people you're a hentai." And he said... "Don't call me a hentai, or I'll show you what it means." ... So I took off running.

So the first place I ended up checking into was this talent agency that seemed to appear only two weeks ago out of absolutely nowhere... but it was just someone who moved to Tokyo from someplace in England because their only client is going to move here. Which I guess is cool, but it doesn't really get me anywhere, now does it?

So then Luna met back up with me. HOW DOES SHE ALWAYS FIND ME? Anyways, we went over to the concert grounds and there was this huge crowd of people listening to some new pop-star, except she wasn't singing, she was telling people they should all become pop-stars too. The whole thing was just so weird. So Luna and I tried to sneak in and look around, but we got blocked.

I wanted to use the Luna disguise pen but then I saw MAMORU! He was watching me! I thought I'd lost him, but he comes up to me and tells me I need to stop putting my nose in where it doesn't belong and that what I'm doing is dangerous. I told him to leave me alone and that I could handle myself. So he says if I can handle myself then to get away and he backs me up against the side of the building and held me there.

I didn't even try to get away! What the hell is wrong with me? And he got closer and closer, and I was really worried he was going to try and kiss me, and I just stared at him! His mouth barely touched mine. Just like, a brush of lips, and he tasted like coffee and chocolate. And he's SEVENTEEN, and in my head I'm freaking, thinking about those dreams and that if I let him kiss me than I must be a bad person, but I couldn't move.

Part of me really wanted to kiss him back, and part of me wanted to run away screaming. He kissed again and again, and I didn't know what to do! What the hell is wrong with me!? So then HE SAYS, "I thought you could protect yourself."

And then he's wiping tears off my cheeks and I didn't even know I was crying, and he says he's sorry he scared me, but I'm just frozen. Just staring at him. I can't speak or move, and I don't know what to do! It was EXHAUSTING!

So Luna comes around the corner and sees him with me and she just loses it! GO LUNA! She jumped onto my shoulder and scratched his cheek. He yelled and finally pulled away, and still I'm just staring at him, not sure what to do or think or feel. Then Mamoru looks at Luna and says, "I wasn't hurting her." But Luna saw me crying and she knew something was wrong.

HE STOLE MY FIRST KISS! That's what's wrong. I really want to march downstairs and tell my dad... but then I also want to give him more kisses. See? I'm going insane! I called it that first night. What with the crazy dreams and the Sailor Moon, and the boy... that I DONT THINK IS CUTE AT ALL! NO WAY!... kissing me, I mean, I really think I'm losing my mind!

Tsukino Usagi

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Wednesday (Day 10)  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Dear Diary,

Things are getting worse. School was technically open, but NO ONE WAS THERE. Luna and I are at the arcade, and the place is practically empty. Just me and Motoki and Mamoru, who is very obviously not looking at me. But with Mamoru here I can't go into the secret base, and I'm afraid if I leave he'll follow me again. What should I do?

CONTINUED...

Mamoru came and sat with me as soon as Luna ran off. I didn't know what to do! He apologized for making me cry, and I said it was okay.

So then he says, "I dream about you." Part of me really wanted to ask him what he meant. Then he describes a couple pieces, like the room with the generals, and I know he's telling the truth, and I realize he's the boy in the dreams, and if he's the boy, and I'm the girl, then maybe we were meant to meet.

I don't really want to talk about it any more right now. So I'll write more later.

Tsukino Usagi

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Thursday (Day 11)  
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Dear Diary,

There is going to be a concert tomorrow. That weird pop-star that acts strange is the singer. Luna and I are going to go. We tried to sneak in today to check her out. I even used the Luna disguise pen... but something stopped me. Not someone. Something. Not so much a feeling... more a presence. But I don't know if that's right either.

So I turn around to head away, and I see this man again. He's got this curly blonde hair, about two inches long. Bluish eyes. He seems so familiar. I know I've seen him somewhere, but I can't put my finger on it. It's important. I can tell you that much! Really important. There's something about him that makes the hairs raise on the back of my neck, but at the same time I feel like I'm supposed to help him. What could that MEAN?

Having no one at the school, it was actually closed for the day, which was so strange. My brother and mom and dad still seem normal, but then again, all of us were going to school and then busy with our other things. I mean Shingo has soccer and clubs after school, and I'm busy doing my Senshi stuff. (Senshi means soldier). Luna says that's what I am. A soldier. Only one of many.

I think maybe Sailor V is a Senshi too. Luna didn't say anything when I suggested it, but I could tell she was really thinking about it, so maybe she is. Or she could even be the princess.

But can I admit something to you... as long as you promise never to tell? I don't think Sailor V is the princess. I think... maybe I am. And that terrifies me. I can't be responsible for a whole bunch of other soldiers, but Luna says she will make the leader whether I like it or not because of my instincts and because people like me. I mean is that really the kind of thing you want in a leader? Oh, yeah, that Usagi, sometimes she says stuff is good or bad, and she's right. Or, oh yeah, Usagi is so nice she just has to be the leader.

Pfft!

It's ridiculous. Between all my dreams and the feelings though... I have to admit I feel like I might be... HER. In my dreams my mother is the Queen. I really hope I'm wrong... so I'm going to keep trying to find her until I can figure it out for real.

The other reason I've started to think I might be, you know, is Mamoru. Hear me out before you just think I'm boy crazy. Ever since I met him my older dream is getting clearer. I can see his face now that I know he has the dreams too. He's the Earth Prince!

Tsukino Usagi

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Sunday (Day 14)  
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Dear Diary,

I swear I was intending to write Friday night when I came home, and then again on Saturday, but I broke my hand! And one of the bones in my foot, though I don't know which one. One of the metatarsals obviously, but I have no idea. That one still hasn't healed. Tuxedo Kamen (Mamoru) actually had to carry me home. Yeah, I really have a lot of explaining to do.

So there was this concert Friday night, and Mamoru was getting ready to leave the arcade at the same time I was on my way to go to it. So he tried to convince me to stay away but I couldn't for obvious reasons. I tried to convince him to go home and stay there... I wanted him safe. I mean I really want him safe. So then we both pretended we were going home, but we didn't!

So I get to the concert and it's an energy suck fest. I mean the people there were barely holding on... and most of my classmates were in that audience, and I got really mad when I saw Naru and I screamed for her to wake up. THIS IS THE THIRD ATTACK... AND THE THIRD TIME SHE'S BEEN CAUGHT IN AN ATTACK! It's like these Negaverse jerks have it out for her... or maybe it's because she's so close to me... OH NO! Am I putting her in danger? NO NO NO! I won't!

Sorry... I'm back now. Had to have a mini freak-out.

Anyways, there's this... Bluish Youma... thing. And I'm fighting her, and she sprays this stuff all over me, and it starts to cover me up and I can't get it off me and it's making me weaker and weaker and weaker, and Tuxedo Kamen had to wait until it had covered me completely before he could pierce it with a rose. But he saved me, then the creature turned on him, so I had to leap over a bunch of seats and pull him out of the way, but I broke my hand, and I still had to fight.

I stood up, and I used my tiara, but it went sideways because my hand hurt so much. So then the creature attacks again and I have to jump out of the way, except that goo had caught my foot, and I didn't know, so I pulled too hard and broke my foot. Needless to say I screamed. So when I screamed, the pieces in my hair picked up the sound and amplified it and the Youma ducked and covered her ears.

I tried with my tiara again, with the other hand, and for some reason I said, "Tiara Encircle!" And my tiara caught the creature and then the tiara just got smaller and smaller and smaller until the Youma was dust on the stage. The goo disappeared and I fell instantly. My tiara came back to me, and I just lay there on the floor of the concert hall, and I didn't know how I was going to get home.

Until I heard my name. Yeah. Apparently as soon as I fell my henshin faded and Tuxedo Kamen automatically recognized me. So then he picks me up and starts carrying me away, hollering for Luna. And I knew. I said, "Mamoru," and he smiled and then he let his henshin go too, and it was him. He wanted to take me to his apartment but I had to explain that my parents would lose it if I wasn't home by eleven.

And then he looked so sad I had to ask what was wrong. He shook his head, and said it wasn't the time to tell me but he would. And finally Luna was there and she saw us together and hissed and I told her it was okay and that Mamoru was going to protect me until he got me home. She tried hissing again and I told her who he really was, and then she jumped up onto my belly (Cause he was still carrying me) and just stared at him.

She asked if he was an enemy, and he met my eyes instead and said he could never be my enemy. And that seemed to settle Luna. But she's been hovering ever since I got home. Like she doesn't want to let me out of her sight. But considering Tuxedo Kamen and I are the ones doing the fighting, shouldn't she trust me a little more?

And Mamoru came to visit me yesterday too. Just climbed the tree and got onto the balcony and I went out and sat with him for a long time. My foot was already healing by then, but this morning I tripped when I was on my way back from the bathroom. Oops. But Luna says she thinks it will be healed by the time I wake up in the morning. I sure hope so, because if I have a dream I'm going to be racing to school like normal.

Oh yeah, now that I know Mamoru is both Tuxedo Kamen, and the prince, from before, all the dreams are clearer and I can always remember his face now. I can't remember all the other faces in the first dream yet, but I'm sure I will soon. I bet I have to meet and recognize them first, like I did with him. I don't know how to do that, but I'm sure I'll figure it out.

So, I bet you're wondering if Mamoru and I are dating... So am I!

He kissed me again, but it was only on the cheek. I think he's afraid of making me cry again. I guess I can't be mad about that. But he is more than two years older than me, and goes to high school, and is so smart and brave and handsome. And now that we aren't fighting I really like him so much more, but I don't know what to do, and I don't think he does either. Boys do mature slower than girls according to my mother. Tee hee.

Tsukino Usagi


	3. Week Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN1: Some events may be out of order in this story. I have chosen to add in some of the Anime Youma, some Manga scenes, and some of my own creations, as well as a few plot twists. I think people will enjoy them! I am also creating a new character... though I am not sure when this character will appear. I really hope you all like this chapter. If you do, please review. If you have suggestions, also, please review, or simply message me.
> 
> AN2: You may have noticed major changes from my other writing with this story. I assure you it is purely intentional. Usagi is a fourteen year old girl, not a married 35 year old with a grown child in the Marines. She doesn't write like an adult. No one should expect her to.   
> PS... I channeled my own fourteen-year-old self to write this. Picturing myself in her shoes was fun and interesting.

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Monday (Day 15)  
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Dear Diary,

Mamoru and I are officially dating. Apparently this is a really big deal to every freaking female in the Juuban district. Girls I have never even met kept coming up to me all afternoon asking how I did it! I can't exactly tell them you have to be his soulmate to get his attention, but I couldn't think of anything to say, so I just told them I love him.

He has never dated anyone before, and his first kiss was mine too! So I guess he really didn't steal it. Hee hee. Funny story! It was really kind of cute, but Luna rolled her eyes at us!

So I have to tell you how all of this came about...

He walked up the sidewalk to the house this morning, bold as you please, and knocked on the door before I was even awake! Apparently he talked to my dad this morning and asked his permission to date me, before he even asked me if I wanted to date him! I have to admit I was a little annoyed, but my dad ACTUALLY LIKES HIM! What on earth they said to each other, I will never know, but he was invited to dinner at my house.

Well, while he and my dad are talking my mother storms into my room to get me up and showered and dressed. She even helped me with my hair this morning. She hasn't done that in a long time. She gave me strawberry lip gloss! Wow! I think my parents have been replaced by pod-people. Have you seen that movie? Freaky!

Anyways, so she tells me Mamoru is talking to dad and I start to freak out thinking I'm going to find his severed head in my breakfast bowl, but I get downstairs and the two of them are drinking coffee and debating about some article in the paper, happy as you please! What on earth is going on here? So I sit down to breakfast, which is rare for me, but with my mom all freaked out I had woken up pretty quick. I actually went to school with a full stomach for once! Weird, right?

So then Mamoru bows to my parents and walks me outside and he says he is going to be walking me to school from now on and asks if I am willing to be his girlfriend. He tells me my dad said it was okay and I think I nearly fainted when he said that. I looked back at my house and both my parents are smiling and waving, and poor Shingo looks just as shell-shocked as me. He shrugs when he meets my eyes and I shrug too because we know our parents.

So then I look at Mamoru and I nod my head and he kisses my cheek and I look back at my dad, and HE'S STILL SMILING! What on earth!? I mean seriously, pod-people!

Mamoru grabs my hand and walks me to school and he tells me that he will meet me at the arcade since I wont have detention, which means I will get out of school first for once. And the whole time, I'm thinking maybe I'm actually delirious or dreaming or something, but he just keeps holding my hand and walking right up to the gate of my school. And EVERYONE starts looking at us. Even the teachers were at their classroom windows. It was a bit strange.

So he leans in and gives me the sweetest kiss on the mouth, and I couldn't help but kiss him back. It lasted a few minutes, and by the time we parted I thought maybe I would pass out from lack of oxygen. Let me just put this out there... he tastes really good. Like coffee and chocolate. He only used his tongue a little, so it wasn't really gross or anything. It was actually really sweet and romantic.

He put his hand on my cheek and told me to have a good day. And I'm standing there staring at him as he walks away, until Naru, who was screaming like a crazy person, comes running up to me to make me tell her every detail. I left out the fighting parts and the dreams but I told her pretty much all the rest. She totally freaked out (in a good way). And all day everyone keeps coming up to me and asking how I am dating a high school boy!

So meanwhile, Mamoru gets to the arcade and meets up with Motoki, and tells him he is dating me. Motoki laughs at him and tells him he'd already figured out we liked each other. So they go to school and they are still talking about the conversation with my dad, which neither one of them will tell me about, and I guess people overheard and pretty soon everyone knows the completely unattainable Chiba Mamoru is actually dating, and "worse" (according to one of the girls who approached me in the bathroom at the arcade) he's dating a middle-schooler and says he's in love.

So when I get out of school everything is fine... until the high school lets out. I guess a whole bunch of people surrounded Mamoru to ask him about me, and how he got my dad to let him date me.

By the time he got to the arcade I was, unfortunately, surrounded. All these high school girls were trying to tell me I had to break up with him and tell him to date them instead, and it really freaked me out. Naru was actually getting pretty pushy, telling people to back off and leave me alone.

Then Mamoru comes charging through the crowd and tells everyone to go away, and Motoki says if anyone else gets near me he will kick them out of the arcade! I mean, wow! So then Mamoru brings me over to the counter with Naru and Umino, and it's just the four of us and Motoki on the side closest to the break room and furthest from the door, so we can watch people coming and going.

Mamoru got me a triple chocolate shake, which I'd never had before, and tells me he has a secret addiction to chocolate, which is really cute! He ended up helping me with my math and English homework. The way he showed me I actually understood it. And the whole time he keeps finding reasons to touch my hand or my hair or my back, and it gave me the shivers, and made me feel special and pretty.

After Naru and Umino left, and while Motoki was busy serving customers, Mamoru asked me why I was crying the first time he kissed me. I explained that it had been my first kiss and he was being scary so it wasn't like I'd imagined it to be. He got really sad and upset with himself, and then he grinned at me and told me it was his first kiss too. And he leans in and says he didn't steal the kiss, he just borrowed it, and I can have it back.

He puts one hand on my cheek and the other at the back of my neck and he pulls me toward him, but then stops and I know he's waiting for me to decide if I really want to kiss him. I do, of course, so I lean in and our lips meet and then he licks my lips and then his tongue is in my mouth and I feel like I'm floating away to heaven, and he pulls back so we can breathe and then kisses again and again. He tells me we can borrow each others kisses forever, and it just made me melt. He is really good at making me feel special.

So then he walks me home, and he carries my bag and everything. He even helped me with my chores, which made them go by really fast. Then he created this whole bouquet of flowers for my mom, and another one of pink roses for me. I tied them up with a ribbon and put them in water. It just made me feel so good and warm inside my chest. And my mom says he's a charmer and that she liked what he said to my dad, but when I asked what he said, neither of them would tell me.

Even Shingo likes him! That I did not expect, but when Mamoru confessed he'd never played video games before, Shingo made him play Sailor V with him until dinner, and the two of them were laughing in the living room while I helped my mom in the kitchen. AND I DIDN'T BREAK ANYTHING!

Its actually really sad though, the reason Mamoru never played video games before. When Shingo said that to my parents, my mom asked him how someone his age had never played before, and he admitted he was raised in an orphanage. His parents died in a car crash on his sixth birthday. I couldn't help crying and just hugging him. So then my mother said he could call her Ikuko-mama, and he cried too and hugged her for a long time, and my dad patted him on the back. It was really sweet, but so very sad.

When dinner was over he said he had to go do his homework, and my mom didn't want him to leave since she found out he lived alone, but he said he was okay. She made him promise to call when he got home to let us all know he was safe and he blushed and hugged her again, then kissed me on the cheek and ran out.

So now, here I am, ready for bed, and all I can think about is Mamoru.

Tsukino Usagi

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Tuesday (Day 16)  
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Dear Diary,

Dating is fun and interesting. Being a superhero sucks. But dating another superhero who fights alongside you tends to make it easier to bear. There are some things about it that are... different though. We had to fight this one weird one at about four in the morning. It looked somewhat like a human, but it had toys all over it. It was roaming around near the shopping district, outside a toy store. There were no stories of anyone hurt or anything. It just seemed to appear out of nowhere.

So I feel this gross feeling and I know I have to go, but I call Mamoru from the phone before I leave. Luna says she's going to get us some communicators today. Anyways, back to my story. I called Mamoru and he tells me that he can actually feel when I transform, but that he's really glad that I called him. So I jump out my window, which is actually pretty cool, and I meet him on the roof of the toy store and we just watch it for a minute since there are no people around to get hurt.

Mamoru suggests that I just use my tiara action without even announcing myself, which may not be very sporting, but considering the things want to suck all the energy out of every human they meet, I guess it isn't really a big deal. I grabbed the tiara and he stops me and tells me to whisper my attack, so I do and the tiara glows with the same amount of power when I throw it, so I'm really glad he suggested it. It destroyed the Youma and neither of us was in any danger for even a second. That made me feel good, because the thought of him getting hurt...

Anyways, so here I am, back at home. He came back with me and stayed until I was safely in my bedroom before he left. I decided since it was already close to six it just wasn't worth it to go back to sleep, so I figured I would write in my diary, and had extra time to get ready for school. So that's what I'm doing now. Hee hee!

Tsukino Usagi

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Wednesday (Day 17)  
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Dear Diary,

Okay, so one of the weird things about being a superhero is that I am even hungrier than I used to be! I don't tend to gain weight very well. I have a high metabolism. I sure hope I spelled that right. I've always been a bit underweight, so it's not like it's a new thing. Except now I'm losing weight, and it's really upsetting my mom and dad, and even Mamoru. I've only been doing this for a few weeks, but already I've lost seven pounds. Luna says she thinks it has something to do with the energy it takes to transform and the energy and exercise from fighting.

It was really funny. She actually started calling me her little piggy! I laughed so hard! I really love Luna, even though she can be a bit bossy and a lot overprotective.

Well, anyways, I was talking with Naru about the problem at school. My mom is taking me to the doctor again this afternoon to see about getting a prescription for these shakes I used to have when I was little and wasn't growing very fast. Naru says she noticed my weight loss, and was worried.

Well Umino overheard all this, and he starts talking about how some people have the opposite problem and how our teacher Haruna-sensei is going to a gym and she's finally losing weight. To be honest I don't think she's overweight and I kind of snapped at Umino because I think it's rude to judge people based on their weight.

CONTINUED

So, yeah. That was my school day. Mamoru met me at the arcade and we waited there for my mom to pick us up. He actually went with us to my doctor's appointment and he had a whole bunch of questions about foods that help people gain weight. He told the doctor how I eat a whole bunch but I'm still losing weight. They ran a bunch of tests and some of it was on my thyroid again, but there were others and it was frustrating and took a long time.

Eventually they gave me two prescriptions. I have a medicine I have to take before breakfast every day and I have to drink those shakes again at least twice a day, but Doctor Mizuno says she wants me to try to drink four a day! That kind of sucks, but when my mom brought us to pick them up they have like four new flavors now, so she got a whole bunch of flavors for me.

Mamoru stayed over for dinner, and helped me with my homework. He's been doing that since Monday, which is awesome because the way he says things I understand them. My family likes Mamoru as much as me, so that makes me happy. He only ever kisses me on the cheek in front of my father. I asked him why and he says because my dad asked him to. Which surprised me. That he and my dad talked about him kissing me, I mean. Who would have ever believed my dad would let that happen?

Anyways, Luna says I should probably get to sleep, so I will write more tomorrow.

Tsukino Usagi

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Thursday (Day 18)  
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Dear Diary,

So Naru is now going to the same gym as Haruna-sensei. A bunch of girls are going apparently. They wanted me to go with them, but I just cant. I cant lose any more weight. As it is, Mamoru and I do training every night now, and I have to patrol the city and fight big scary, sometimes slimy monsters and it uses a lot of energy, so I have to drink stupid shakes. The doctor says if I don't gain weight it will mean more treatments.

Mamoru started making me all these weird snacks last night and he brought them this morning. I guess he asked the doctor and then also did a bunch of research. The weirdest one is actually the best tasting. He says it's his own blend of something he calls pemmican. It's an ancient Native American food he found online. Back when they made it they had buffalo and elk and stuff, but he used pork. Anyways it is a mixture of meat and fat and he added some fruit to it so it would taste good. And it really did! He made other things too, but it was the best and he says now he knows how he can make it again.

He showed it to my mom and she got really interested in it and started asking questions and they talked about cooking for a bit before we left for school. He always walks me to the gate and kisses me goodbye. Then he uses the new communicators to check on me at lunch time.

I forgot to tell you about those! Okay, so they look a bit like a watch, but if you flip up the watch face there's a screen on one side and keypad on the other. On the watch face are a bunch of planetary symbols (Luna says they belong to the other Senshi) and his is the earth and mine is the moon. Then there are the symbols for the directions, North, South, East, and West. She says these belong to the Shitennou. There's one for the sun too, and another moon one, but that one is blue for some reason. Luna wasn't sure why. She said she didn't remember why it was there, but that she felt like she had to add it. Weird right? If I press one button on the keypad a full keyboard appears, but it's kind of like a hologram I can touch.

So anyways, he always checks on me and reminds me to eat and drink my shake and sees how my day is going. Anyways, today at lunch I was having a really rough time because Umino and some of the other boys were acting strange. They were mean to the girls and I think Umino was trying to kiss me. And Naru was acting so tired and so was Haruna-Sensei, but then Umino was really mean to her and she fell and she didn't wake up so they sent us out to lunch early, and then when Mamoru called I was crying.

We'd already been outside for about twenty minutes and Umino had pushed me up against a fence to try and kiss me, and I'd had to run away from him. Something strange is going on, and I don't understand it. Cause Umino isn't like that! 

So as soon as I answered Mamoru he checked himself out of school and came to get me. He called my mom and she checked me out too and he brought me to the arcade for a shake and I told him about what was going on.

Luna met up with us and we went into the command center. When we looked over a map of Tokyo we could see dark spots spreading out from the gym and from this fortune teller place. That has never happened before, according to Luna. She says she thinks it is because our power is growing and the computers are linked to our power somehow. So we went to the fortune teller place because the boys are scary and we know Haruna-sensei went to the gym.

We found a Youma and Mamoru and Luna talked and Mamoru suggested that this time I call out my presence so we could be sure who the Youma was disguised as before attacking. We wouldn't want to attack a human. So we, already henshined of course, both called out and demanded the Youma show itself, and it was the fortune teller, and Mamoru threw a rose at it and I threw my tiara at the same time. Mamoru's rose made a vine thing come out of it and surrounded the Youma so it couldn't fight and my tiara destroyed it.

Then we had to go to the gym, and guess who I found there? Can you guess? I bet you can! NARU! What the heck? Why is she always around when there is an attack? She seems to get targeted a lot. And I asked if it was my fault, but Luna and Mamoru think it's just because the attacks seem to be concentrated in the same area.

Anyways, she was in this weird chamber that was sucking her energy, along with a couple other girls from my class. I confronted the weird person in charge of the gym and he set these normal people on us, but there were these bands on their heads that were brainwashing them, so I had to break the bands, and to be honest it wasn't easy. I had to use my tiara and make sure I didn't hurt them when I threw it. I had to ricochet them one to the other, and it was much more a mental thing than I ever could have imagined. I can tell my tiara exactly what I want it to do.

So finally I had destroyed the bands and I was really relieved. I got Naru and the others out of the chambers they were in, and laid them out on the ground, but then the guy in charge came back and he was mad that the guys he had set against us were no longer under his control. He started screaming at Mamoru and me, and suddenly I remembered him. Not just from the other fights. No I really remembered him.

I told you about all the dreams, and the prince's guard right? The four generals... Yeah... he was one of them. But now he was fighting for the other side because he had been brainwashed, and I started crying as soon as I recognized him, and he said he couldn't believe a crybaby had beaten him, and then he was going to disappear, but I begged him to wait and he took a step closer to me, and I knew it really was him.

I asked him if he remembered us, and Mamoru gave me a strange look and then he looked back at the guy, whose name is Jadeite. And he gasps really loud and covers his mouth, and I knew Mamoru was remembering too, and he holds out his other hand to the other man, and tells him we can save him, but Jadeite just disappeared.

So even though we saved and healed a bunch of people I am feeling really sad. I can't believe the Negaverse already has one of the Shitennou. I wonder if the others are safe or if they were taken too.

Tsukino Usagi

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Friday (Day 19)  
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Dear Diary,

Tonight I am going on my first official date with Mamoru. He is taking me out to eat and see a movie. I'm really excited and can't seem to sit still this afternoon. He brought me straight home after school so we could both get ready. I did have enough time to drink a milkshake though, before he and Motoki showed up at the arcade when they got out, so that was nice.

My mom will be up in a minute, and she says she's going to let me wear mascara and eye shadow. She's going to teach me how to put on make-up! I can't even believe it! She used to say she wouldn't let me use it until I was fifteen, but she says she knows Mamoru will be respectful. That makes me happy.

CONTINUED

Okay, so let me tell you all about my date. Mamoru picked me up at six, and my dad told him to have me back at ten-thirty and to call if we would be late. Mamoru nodded that he would, and he grabbed my hand and led me out to his car. I didn't even know he had a car! I never thought to ask about it. He took me to a place that serves Italian food, and we had spaghetti. I like food from other cultures. Don't tell anyone, but I'm not a sushi fan. Hee hee!

Dinner was great, and Mamoru and I talked and laughed and had a wonderful time, and then he took me to see a movie, which was awesome. He had me home at ten-fifteen, and he kissed me before we got out of the car, but then when he walked me to the door he kissed my cheek again. My mom and dad were peeking out from the living room window, and both of us could tell, so we laughed.

I mean it was just a great date. Like how he kept touching my hand and kissing my palm, and how he played with my hair, and how in the theater he wrapped his arm around me, and how neither of us could tell you what we watched because we spent the whole movie kissing.

Tsukino Usagi

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Saturday (Day 20)  
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Dear Diary,

Shingo really upset me today. He went and got this weird pet called a Chanela. As soon as he had it he started acting strange. Like he was unable to do anything but look at the thing. I admit it was soft and smelled good, but something was wrong with it, and I could tell Shingo was getting weaker and weaker. Mom and I were freaking out. He didn't even get up to play Sailor V! That was scary.

Luna and I looked at each other and I told my mom I was going to try and find out what was going on. She gave me a strange look, but I had to let her know! I just had to! So I left and called Mamoru on the communicator, and we went to where I was feeling a strange energy coming from and there was a pet shop with a whole bunch of the strange creatures.

It turned out that the shop owner had been knocked out and hidden in the back room, only to be replaced by a look-alike who was selling the creatures to everyone. When she finally closed the shop we were still hidden inside and she started saying strange words about making the Chanelas collect energy for the Negaverse, so I took her out with my tiara.

When I got home Shingo didn't even remember the strange pet. I met my mother's eyes and nodded and I think she might know my secret now. Mamoru had come back with me and he ate dinner with us. I really want to tell my mother about being Sailor Moon. I know Luna thinks it's a bad idea, but Mamoru, who adores her and calls her Ikuko-mama says she deserves to know the truth.

CONTINUED

It is really late, and my mom just left my room. I had to tell her. The truth is she already knew though. At least some of it. Mamoru had talked to my dad about how I was special and was a protector, and the two of them had talked and she figured I was Sailor Moon and told him so, and now they both know, and my mom hugged me and thanked me for saving Shingo and made me promise to be really careful. She says tomorrow we will all talk about it, and Luna agreed to explain it to them both, and Mamoru is going to come over right after Shingo goes to his friend's house.

Tsukino Usagi

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Sunday (Day 21)  
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Dear Diary,

It's been a very long day! Shingo left right after breakfast, and Mamoru came over and Luna and I went downstairs and talked to my parents with him. It was a long discussion, and I showed them my Sailor Moon henshin, and Mamoru showed them his Tuxedo Kamen henshin, and Luna explained that there were others, and then she also told them she thought we were the reincarnated prince and princess, which surprised me and Mamoru, because even though we both suspected it, we hadn't really said anything to Luna. She said the Shitennou were the prince's protectors, and the inner Senshi were the princesses protectors, and that as soon as we found them we would all be safer.

Anyways, after that, Luna gave my parents a special communicator that they could use to contact us, and that we could send a note to when we were done with a battle. My dad was really worried. He had figured some of it out based on his discussion with Mamoru, but he still wouldn't tell me the rest of the talk they had, even after Mamoru left. He just said it was man-talk, whatever that means.

So, Mamoru stayed for dinner, and Shingo came home then, and he was really excited to see Mamoru and the three of us played Sailor V. Mamoru helped me with my homework and then he went home, and now I am sitting in my room and I am really tired. It wasn't physically demanding today, but emotionally I feel wrung out!

Tsukino Usagi


	4. Week Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: If you've read a lot of my stories, you know I can't seem to help but add a few of my own characters... repeatedly. So here I am introducing you to Haruki.

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Monday (Day 22)  
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Dear Diary,

It's been a really hard day. I didn't go to school today because last night my uncle died. So my dad asked me to go with him and pick up Haruki. My cousin is usually a lot like me. He's always happy and smiling and laughing. Everyone loves him. He has this bright coppery red hair, and a few freckles (He's half American). Everyone loves him. He's just so easy to love.

We left at five in the morning. It was a long drive. We had to go to Kofu, which isn't too far I guess, except that there was a lot of traffic in the city, and I got a little car sick. I didn't tell my dad though, because I knew why he wanted me to go with him. Haruki needed someone like me today. My dad knew it, I knew it, heck, everyone knew it.

Mamoru asked us to send him a message when we got there, and we did, but he was in class and couldn't respond right away. Haruki is Mamoru's age, and I kinda wish we could have brought him, but we decided we couldn't both leave Tokyo at the same time. Then there would be no one to protect people if there was an attack. The possibility of an attack worried me the whole way there too.

Haruki was really sad, and it was hard to see my normally bright and happy cousin so miserable, so I cheered him up as best I could by telling him stories about people in Tokyo. His dad is going to be driven there sometime tonight to be laid to rest with his mom, and he was thinking about that, and said he wished he could be with him for the drive, but my dad said it wasn't a good idea.

Anyways, we had to do a bit of packing, but his neighbors came to help us a little. We didn't get back to town until dinner time, and Mamoru was waiting for us with my mom and Shingo, and the two boys had cleaned out the room for Haruki and had helped my mom with the laundry and stuff.

Haruki and Mamoru seem to get along pretty well, and he talked more and even laughed a couple of times. Especially when Mamoru tugged my hair and I yelped a little. But then he said my nickname in front of my cousin so I smacked him and said his.

Have I told you those yet? No?

He calls me Usako, and I call him Mamo-chan. I know, it's really cutesy but it fits us.

Tsukino Usagi

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Tuesday (Day 23)  
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Dear Diary,

So I met someone famous! I mean it! I really did. He's a musician name Amade Yusuke. It was really weird to run into him because when I had been hanging out with Naru, she mentioned him and we played some of his music. That was only a couple hours before I met him!

It was raining out, and he was running and bumped into me. For a second I was sort of mad because I landed in a puddle, but then I saw how nervous her looked. He plays Jazz music, and I guess he was at the recording studio place. Well, anyways, he's in love with this girl who works there name Akiko, and he was trying to confess to her, but then Akiko gave him his recording back accidentally when they got interrupted, and then he was being chased by a monster.

So I figured out a Youma was after him and walked him to work. Then I called Mamoru and Luna. Anyways, I wasn't allowed in the club because I was too young, and neither was Mamoru, so we used the disguise pen to make us older. Luna pretended to be my scarf, which was pretty funny, and Mamoru and I kept laughing.

When he was done performing Yusuke left and went down to the parking garage, and this Youma, who called herself Kyurene came out and attacked him. We all ran in then, so she took the tape and flew away. We got into a car with Yusuke and ended up at Jam Records and I saw it land on top of the building so we all went running inside because Akiko works there so he wouldn't stay behind.

So we bust into this room where everyone is sleeping and the Youma is putting the tape into the machine. And we know something bad is going to happen if the tape gets played, so Luna jumps over and knocks it away and then carries it off under one of the desks. The Youma was so focused on getting it back that I just charged my tiara and killed it without it even seeming to know I was there.

Yusuke was still hurt from the attack in the parking garage and Akiko started taking care of him, and told him he should have been more careful because he could have hurt his hands. Mamoru and I, still in our hero forms, said goodbye, and then we left.

Mamoru reminded me to send the all clear to my parents, and then he walked me home. I called Naru and told her I had met Yusuke, but she didn't believe me. So I told her I thought he would be getting married soon, and she laughed. That's okay though, because I'm pretty sure he will be announcing his wedding any day. Tee Hee.

Tsukino Usagi

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Thursday (Day 25)  
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Dear Diary,

We all got a bit of a shock today. I don't know what to think anymore! My whole world just turned upside down in the space of a few minutes, and I don't think it will ever be the same. So, let me just tell you how this started...

This afternoon as we were all walking back from the arcade (by all I mean myself, Mamo-chan, and Haruki), when we heard shouting. I told Haruki to run home and Mamo-chan and I went into an alley to henshin. We both transformed and ran back out, only to find something we never expected.

In the park, fighting of a Youma, with a sword of all things, was a young hero with brown hair and piercing blue eyes. He was wearing a white-ish slivery outfit with shades of blue mixed in. There was armor over it, with blue and sliver imbedded in it. The biggest surprise was who the hero was. My little brother Shingo!

I moved in front of him without even thinking and screamed at the Youma. The little red hair pieces picked up the sound and blew the Youma over backwards. It must have tumbled over five times before the womanish... thing stood back up and started throwing candy at me. I didn't even think about it. My little brother was behind me. I grabbed my tiara and shouted "Moon Tiara Protect," and tossed it over my head. This shield came up over all of us.

Then Tuxedo Kamen (My Mamo-chan) tossed these strange new roses that exploded the moment they touched the Youma. It was knocked down again and struggled to rise this time. I grabbed my tiara and threw it at the creature, powering it up on the fly. The Youma turned to dust.

I turned and checked my brother over, then whispered for him to go to the alley. Standing right behind him though was another new warrior. This one was in shades of yellow, orange, and red, with bright red hair, green eyes, and freckles across his nose. My cousin Haruki.

Mamo-chan took them to the alley while I ran and checked on the kids who had been drained by the Youma. I immediately called for emergency services, as three of them weren't sitting up like the rest. They'd been exposed more than the others. They would recover, but they might need to be hospitalized like Naru was and Haruna-sensei was when they were too drained.

So after the emergency responders took them (I had watched from the branch of a tree to make sure they stayed safe) I went into the alley myself and let go of my henshin as well. Shingo and Haruki stared at me. Mamoru rolled his eyes, which I thought was funny. He'd tried to tell them it was me, but I guess they didn't want to believe him.

I sort of dragged them both home, sending a message to Luna on my way so that she could prepare my parents. I kind of felt bad for them. Can you imagine finding out both your kids, plus your nephew, and your daughter's boyfriend are all super heroes? I can't even begin to think what they were going through!

So we get home and I'm sort of freaking out. Because you have to remember, I'm fourteen, but my brother is only eleven! How am I supposed to make sure he doesn't get hurt? But Luna insisted we all had to train, even him, because he could get hurt if he didn't know how to control his powers.

Basically, my whole family is in an uproar. My parents wouldn't even let Mamo-chan leave because they're so worried about all of us. I think my dad has this idea that if he keeps us all here there wont be any Youma, which is silly, but also makes a weird sort of sense if you're a parent I guess.

So my boyfriend is in the bedroom across the hall from me. It's a good thing we have a big house. At this rate it will be full inside a month! I think my parents sort of want to keep track of all of us who become heroes now because they think maybe if they help us they can hide our identities and protect us in other ways.

And now my mom and dad are taking over for Mamo-chan. They want to become his legal guardians because he just has a lawyer and the guy apparently never checks on him, and my dad did a bunch of research on the guy and thinks he might be stealing some of Mamo-chan's money. Which is awful. His parents left him that money, and it should be all his by rights.

So, now I'm just sitting here in my room, and I can't sleep. And I can't help but think I'm the only girl hero and it's sort of weird because I think even my little brother thinks he has to protect me. Being a girl doesn't mean I'm not strong! So I decided to write, but I still can't sleep! Ahhh!

Tsukino Usagi

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Friday (Day 26)  
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Dear Diary,

The shock still hasn't worn off. So I get downstairs this morning and my dad and Mamo-chan are arguing over some politics thing that I didn't really care about. But I kinda thought it was cute. Haruki was drinking almost as much coffee as those two. I made hot chocolate for me and Shingo and some tea for my mother and we all sat and ate breakfast.

I have to admit, I didn't sleep much last night.

So then my dad says he wants Mamo-chan to move in with us. This is the man who once chased Umino down the street with the hose! The same one who pelted dirty socks at a boy bringing me my homework. The same one who chased one boy away with gardening shears when he kept asking for dates after I told him no. This, my dear diary, is the man who wants my BOYFRIEND to move in with us!

If that happens I don't think I'll ever even get more than a peck on the cheek again. AHA! It's his master plan! Oh my dad is good! If my boyfriend moves in, he can keep an eye on him. Why didn't I think of that? My father is a genius!

Oh! Speaking of geniuses... there's a new girl at my school. She was at a private school because she's really smart. I mean, genius level smart. Best grades in the district and a genius IQ. Anyways, she's in my class now.

I got really mad today though, because people were making mean comments about her, calling her stuck up and a snob and saying she thinks she's better than everyone. It's so obvious that isn't what it is. She's just really shy. And really smart.

So she spends most of her time reading books alone in the library. Who cares? So I went over and talked to her. She's really sweet. I found out I actually sort of know her. I met her before when she went to see her mom once, who happens to be my doctor, while I was there.

She's really nice.

Well, I convinced her to go to the arcade with me to wait for Mamo-chan and Haruki and Motoki-onii-san. And I showed her Sailor V and got her to try to play, and she beat the game. On her first try. But then she looked at her watch and seemed to get scared, before she ran off to cram school.

There's something special about her. I felt like I should know her. I don't know how else to explain it.

Now I'm home. My homework is all done, thanks to Mamo-chan helping me with my math and Haruki helping me with my English. His dad was American so he speaks English fluently. I hope I spelled that right.

Anyways, I am going to go help my mother cook. She's trying to teach me (but I don't think I'll ever be any good at it).

Tsukino Usagi

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Sunday (Day 28)  
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Dear Diary,

There is soooo much to tell you today!

I'm going to go in order, so bear with me. Friday night my dad came home very angry. It turns out the lawyer who was Mamo-chan's guardian was stealing from him. My dad had the guardianship changed to himself and my mother, with his permission of course. But I guess the guy stole a bunch of money by pretending it was from "Mamoru's monthly expenses." He added money to the rent, and grocery budget, and just all sorts of things. He even stole the amount of school tuition from his high school. Mamo-chan has a scholarship for his grades so he doesn't have to pay anything.

I guess he stole millions of yen over time. Mamo-chan was upset, but not nearly as upset as my dad and mom. I didn't know this, but Mamoru has trillions of yen. I guess it's not something he thinks about because other than his car and his motorcycle he doesn't really spend a lot of money.

So, yeah, that happened. My dad is pressing charges, but they don't think they'll recover his money or anything. That's sad, but the money isn't as important to Mamo-chan. It's not that important to me either. I mean, yeah you need money to buy food and a house and stuff, but if both of us work...

Yes, I'm already thinking of a future with my Mamo-chan. I want to marry him and have lots of kids. I haven't told him that of course. It's still way too soon.

Anyways, so on Saturday, Luna and I were walking when I felt something strange. Like an evil feeling. And we passed by the cram school when we felt it. The one right by the arcade. So then, we saw Ami at the library and she said she had to go there, but I didn't want her to go, but she looked scared and said she had to.

She left behind this disk when she left, and I was going to run after her and give it to her when Luna said we should check it out because it was from the cram school. So we put it in one of the computers, and it was a brainwashing disk. We found out when I hit the computer because I couldn't figure out how it worked, and then this other screen sort of showed up underneath the stuff that was there and a voice was saying to give the Negaverse energy and intelligence.

So I pressed the button to reach Mamo-chan and Haruki and Shingo and took off. I couldn't wait for them! I had to save her. I just knew there was something special about her. So we get there and she's the only one who doesn't seem to be in a trance except this lady in a lab coat. But when I show up as Sailor Moon the lady becomes a Youma and grabs Ami around the throat.

And starts throwing sharp papers at me!

We fought for several minutes, and then Tuxedo Kamen and Sun Knight (Haruki) and Blue Moon Knight (Shingo) all showed up. And then there is a lot more fighting, and Ami breaks free. Then Luna threw this little pen at her and she caught it and held it up. She yelled "Mercury Power Make Up!" and became Sailor Mercury.

I'm not the only girl hero anymore! Yay!

And she threw this mist at the Youma, and then Sun Knight hit it with this Solar Flare attack that was really bright and it disintegrated. And then we brought Ami home with us, cause it's kind of scary finding out you're a super hero. So then my mom called her mom to come over for dinner and she got there and when Ami and Luna explained she got really scared, but my dad told her how afraid he still was, but that we all trained every day and worked hard and that some things seemed to come on instinct and she seemed to feel better.

Luna gave Ami a little computer. She's really smart, so it was something she needed. And right away she was able to use it. She started scanning everyone in the room, and she noticed that all of us were sort of changing. Me and Mamo-chan had already changed a lot. Our DNA wasn't the same as a normal human anymore. She used a lot of big words I didn't really understand. But her mom said we couldn't go to the ER or anything unless it was a last resort.

I got to tell her all about the subspace pocket and what a henshin was and everything. She sort of clung to me a bit, and I knew she was a bit nervous. I think we're going to be really good friends.

Anyways, then today she came for her first training, and her mom came to see. But the problem is we need a better place to train. We sort of just henshin and practice in the park because we can't lead the Negaverse home. So we have to find a place for that.

I almost forgot to tell you about this...

Yusuke and Akiko eloped on Friday. And today I just received a package from them. His new CD was inside, and it's called "Moonlight Lady," and the front cover is a shadow figure of me (as Sailor Moon) in front of a crescent moon!

Tsukino Usagi


	5. Week Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: Tuesday's entry has a bit of detail about female issues. If that makes you squeamish, skip to the next entry… because I am writing AS a freaked out fourteen year old dealing with things for the first time. (And I must admit I had to look into a few of my old journals to get a feel for writing this. LOL)

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Monday (Day 29)  
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Dear Diary,

Mamoru & Usagi  
Usagi + Mamoru  
Mamo-chan and Usako  
Mr. & Mrs. Chiba Mamoru  
Chiba Usagi

You're probably thinking I'm pretty stupid huh? I can't seem to help myself… and I don't think I want to. I'm in love, and I am happy, and I want to keep being happy. I like being a girlfriend, and someday I want to be a wife. That's not so bad is it?

Anyways… changing the subject. 

I really like having Ami around. She is very shy and studies a lot (Her mom says too much and could I please remind her she is in middle school and get her to act like a kid once in a while). So I will get her to play and have fun like I do for my Mamo-chan and she and Mamoru both will help me buckle down when I have to.

We are in the same class thankfully, so I know it will be good. We spent lunch under a pretty tree with Naru and Umino. It was nice to see her start talking to them. And now that Umino knows she is nice but really shy, soon the whole school will know, so that means people want say mean things anymore (I guess it is a good thing that Umino can't stop sharing secrets sometimes).

Anyways, no Youma attacked today, and it was really quiet.

I think my dad finally has Mamoru convinced about moving in. I am telling you, my father is an evil genius. I will never get kissed if he moves in here!

Tsukino Usagi

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Tuesday (Day 30)  
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Dear Diary,

Being a woman SUCKS! I don't want to be a woman. Not today. Not ever! And that is all I have to say about that! Okay… its not… but this is going to be hard to write.

So I absolutely love my boyfriend. I adore him. He is smart and funny and kind. He makes me feel special. But there is absolutely no way I am leaving my bedroom and facing him this morning. Maybe ever again… I think I will just stay right here and hide forever.

You think I am overreacting don't you?

How would you feel if you woke up and your lower half, plus your bed was completely soaked in blood, and you screamed thinking you were dying, only to have every male in the house INCLUDING YOUR BOYFRIEND come into your room to kill whoever was attacking you and see that?

Exactly! I rest my case!

Worse though, is my mother coming in and telling everyone it was okay, I was having my period, and I was a WOMAN NOW! And my brother starts asking what she meant…

Can a Youma just show up and kill me now? Please?

So right there, in front of all of them, my mother says it means I can have babies. And starts talking about added responsibility and all this other crap… meanwhile I'm sitting in bed, still bleeding all over myself. Arghhhh!

And Mamoru starts backing away and blushing and not even looking at me like me being a woman makes me a pariah. I can't look at him ever again. Not after this!

So the guys finally go, and my mom helps me get cleaned up and shows me how to use pads and tampons. I got into the shower and just cried. And when I say I cried, I mean I sobbed the whole time. Not that pretty crying that the popular girls do either! Nope, big ugly crying.

I washed myself and tried to put in a tampon but it hurt so bad I screamed for my mother. She said it was because I am a virgin, and I asked what she meant. Apparently there's this little thing inside a girl like a thin piece of skin but its not skin. It's called a hymen, and in some girls it's really close to the outside and a bit thicker than it should be, and apparently the tampon was pressing on it. She said she had one like mine and we have to go to the doctor for it.

So she tells me to put on a pad instead and says Dr. Mizuno can break the hymen for me. And I am totally freaking out about this, but she says otherwise it happens the first time I have... Nope. Still can't say it. Still too embarrassed. She means the thing that happens in my dreams. I told you about those, so I don't have to say it.

Luna says I am being ridiculous and if I can't even write the word I have no business dating. Ugh. She doesn't understand. I wasn't ready to grow up!

Now she won't stop saying the word until I say it. Isn't she supposed to be the mature one here?

Fine! Sex.

It can be surgically removed, or it can be broken during sex.

Silence. Finally the cat acts like a cat!

Mom let me stay home today. She told me all about periods and what happens to your body the rest of the month. And she told me that's why my breasts have been hurting and I asked why those had grown first and she didn't know. And having a period sucks… Especially with hair down there.

I'm miserable and I want someone to hold me and tell

CONTINUED...

Stupid Negaverse. Stupid Youma. Stupid WORLD!

At least I got to moon dust the Negatrash, but because everyone else was in school I was on my own. I got hit with this jet of water right in the belly and it made me cry and THE YOUMA LAUGHED AT ME! So I hit it with my best tiara throw yet. I really only have to think hard and my tiara does what I want, which is awesome. So I had it circle around and around and keep it off balance and then I took the thing right through the belly. Laughing at me! Now it got to see how I felt!

Is it bad that I feel guilty for dusting the thing? Ugh! What is wrong with me? Now I am crying over a Youma!

I want a nap… and to go back to yesterday and pretend I am a kid again. Is that so much to ask?

Especially now that I know the things in my dreams lead to babies!

CONTINUED...

I just got back from the doctor. She says the reason I am "finally" (her words, not mine) having my period is because I am on my thyroid medication. She gave me a couple samples of different medications that are mostly Tylenol or Ibuprofen but have stuff in them that helps with cramps and bloating. And then she suggested a treatment I was really on board with! CHOCOLATE! Apparently it releases happy hormones like sereoton… Luna says its serotonin. Anyway, isn't that just the best!? 

And she said I gained a pound! That is awesome. My mom was a bit freaked cause she thinks I should gain more but then Dr. Mizuno reminded her (remember this is Ami's mom so she knows) that I have been training every day and fighting Youma plus all the other stuff I do. So then my mom was like, should we put her back on the IV? and I wanted to run screaming. Fortunately the doctor had my back on this one! Whew!

So then my mom starts talking to her about the problem with my hymen. It's not like I can go to a normal OBGYN. I don't know what all the letters stand for but its a lady and baby doctor. So then I have to get on the exam table and my legs are in these stirrup thingies and fifteen minutes later she says I am all done but to use a pad for the rest of the day.

It is really sore down there but my mom says it wasn't as bad as what she went through and be thankful we caught it now instead of my wedding night like happened to her. I didn't ask for details cause ewww!

So after that my mom took me to the arcade and we both had triple chocolate shakes. She told me that girls have a lot more to worry about than boys do. The doctor helped explain a lot of it, but for my mom the biggest part was worrying about pregnancy and having protection. And also always having supplies. So we went shopping together and she showed me all the different types. There was even a pack for teenage girls so they can find the right size and strength tampons and pads and pantry liners… it was sort of overwhelming but I was so thankful to have my mom there.

Now we are back home and I have to admit I do feel better about everything now. My mom cuddled with me, and it made me feel so much better. And she said now we get to terrorize the guys together cause our cycles are synced (which means they happen at the same time, see… I am learning). And we laughed about some of the things I was feeling earlier and how I cried because I hit the Youma in the belly and felt guilty.

Mom says she gets all weepy or angry and really cuddly too. So we just sat on the couch together munching on chocolate and talking. It was really awesome.

CONTINUED...

My boyfriend is the best! I guess he talked to my dad or something cause my mom said my dad does this for her too (or really similar). He brought me a whole bunch of flowers. He made them for me. There were pink, white, and red roses and pretty babies breath and it was all wrapped with a ribbon and being held by a very pink stuffed bunny. And he brought lots of chocolate and a couple manga. 

I cried all over him.

Woops.

I must have thanked him a million times and I kissed him a bunch all over his face until he blushed almost as red as the roses! And my mom made my favorites for dinner. She called them comfort foods. And it was really nice because everyone was being sweet to me. Even Shingo didn't tease. But I made them all promise to go back to normal tomorrow because I sort of want them to forget I am a girl. I mean they can get really protective of me. I am sure they will with Ami too…

So I told them all about the Youma and they all laughed about how I made it feel my pain. Is it bad that I still feel guilty?

Tsukino Usagi

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Wednesday (Day 31)  
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Dear Diary,

I am so glad I got to hang out with other girls at school. Today we chased Umino away so we could talk!

Oh, and Ami and Naru are both women too. I guess I only started late because of my thyroid. But Ami says some women start as late as eighteen or nineteen. Can you imagine that? I was thankful I could talk to them about it. I had been sort of dreading going in the bathroom and changing things but they both went with me and talked to me and made me feel better.

Neither of them had to have their hymen broken like me, so they asked a bunch of questions. But I didn't really see it. It only stung a little, didn't really hurt, but then I told them what happened to my mom. So Ami did some research and she said stuff like that runs in families so if I have girls I should get them checked. She said a really long fancy word for it, but I can't remember and I couldn't spell it if I did. Tee hee.

After school Mamo-chan and Haruki came and met me and Ami and we walked to the Crown together. And Motoki asked where I was yesterday, and I guess I blushed, so he thought maybe it was something fun, and I could only hide behind Ami (because Mamoru was blushing too) and just tell him to go away.

I guess he finally got the hint and stopped asking, so eventually I got my chocolate shake, and then we all sat in a booth and did our homework while we snacked on these fries that have cheese and chili on them. They were so yummy. We worked really hard and got it all done, and were just about to go play some games when I felt it. Another stupid Youma. Ugh!

So we left, and I'm really glad we have subspace pockets because I had to hide my school bag and stuff. I can't leave that behind anymore. Not now that I'm a woman. UGH again!

We get to this old shopping district area and there is Jadeite with this Youma that is in this clock store. It's shouting "Ramua," over and over again. Some of them seem really smart when they're disguised as human, but then they act really dumb when they try to say their name. What is with that?"

Anyways, there's this sort of… portal maybe, and we all get sucked into it and then everything is strange. Sort of stretched and squished and bendy. And it felt like we were moving too fast or too slow, or not at all. Mercury (Ami) said the Youma was messing with time. And I wasn't sure what to think, because I didn't think it was possible to mess with time.

From one step to the next I got really young, and I mean, like four year old young, so I had to back up to become the right age again and I hope I didn't go too far. I don't want to get old before my time. So then Tuxedo Kamen reminds me to use my tiara (like I could really forget) and I reached up and then instead of taking it off, these words came to my mind, and I said Twilight Flash. And then the Youma was gone and we were standing in the middle of a clock store.

I asked Mercury to scan everything in the store, because I had a weird feeling. Some of the clocks had been messed with, and could drain energy. And I turned around and Jadeite was standing there, just staring at Tuxedo Kamen, and it looked like he was about to cry.

I said I could save him and he blinked and then just disappeared. It makes me so sad. I want to save him. He's young. Somewhere between my age and Mamoru's I think. And I know he's really a human, like us. What did they have to do to him to make him work for them?

I talked to Luna about it and she gave me something. She calls it the moon stick, but it's sort of like a wand. It's got a long handle and at the top is a crescent moon, and it looks like something is supposed to fit there inside the crescent, but Luna couldn't remember what it was. She said maybe I could heal Jadeite, but only if he wants to be healed.

I talked to my dad about it. He got really upset by the whole thing and started going through all these files and stuff and then he was on the phone and doing things, and I really didn't understand, but then he goes in and starts talking to Mamoru and Haruki and Shingo, and the next thing I know they all left the house together.

Anyway, I was with my mom and Ami and Dr. Mizuno, and we were busy trying to make dinner. And then the guys all came back and they went upstairs and I could hear all this stuff being moved around. Then there was a knock at the door and some delivery people came in. Four bunk beds just got delivered to our house! Four! That's eight people sleeping on beds. And I didn't know what to think about it. But the delivery people started taking the beds upstairs.

Finally, after they left, I got really curious, so I went up and looked. Now, in my room, along one wall is a bunk bed. In Shingo's room is his bed and a bunk bed, and in the guest room is two bunk beds. The other bed, the one Mamoru was using, got taken into my dad's study and put against the far wall.

And then my dad went in his study and started typing on his computer, and he didn't even come out for dinner. My mom brought his food up to him, and she says he is really upset. I wasn't sure what to do. I mean, I wasn't trying to make him sad, but the whole time since I told him, he has looked like he was ready to cry.

After dinner, when I was sitting on the couch, Mamoru came over and just hugged me and held me and told me that my dad was worried about Jadeite, and the others. I had told him there were four of them. And he got to thinking that Luna said there were other Senshi too, and so he wanted to have beds just in case there was someone who didn't have anywhere else to go.

My dad is a big softie. I couldn't possibly be more proud.

Tsukino Usagi

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Thursday (Day 32)  
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Dear Diary,

Taffy Youma. That's right, you heard me. A Youma that spit taffy. And threw taffy. And seemed to be made from… you guessed it… taffy.

We got woken up at about two in the morning, and this thing was in the park. I'm pretty sure it must have escaped on its own because there was NO ONE THERE. It was two in the morning. Mamoru and I have this theory that there must be portals between the Dark Kingdom (Negaverse) and Tokyo. Because otherwise, why would so many Youma show up in weird spots at around the same time?

Take the park for instance… Almost always at night, usually in the small hours of the morning… and almost never anyone around to attack and suck energy from. And the ones we find there are usually the stupidest of the bunch.

Then there's this one area of the shopping district where they seem to come out just as people are getting done school and work for the day. And it's not the most heavily trafficked area either. So what's the point?

I mean obviously not all Youma are created for the same purposes. Some are meant to be really smart and fool a lot of people one at a time, while others seem to go for large crowds and gather a bunch of energy at once. Still others seem to be more of a distraction than anything else. And it's usually these ones that show up unannounced, and no Jadeite with them.

See what I mean?

Anyways, So I get up and press the Mercury symbol, because it's a school night, so she's at home. And then I wake up the guys, which is a lot easier now that they're all in one room. And then Luna and I jump down off my balcony, and the guys follow us, and we run to the park.

And there it was. A Youma made of taffy. Pretty weird right? So we fight it.

But this thing was spitting and throwing taffy in every direction, and I kept getting hit with it, and so did Tuxedo Kamen. Blue Moon Knight (my brother Shingo) hops down from the top of this big wall, and he raises his sword and this shining blue light comes out, and the Youma spits a bunch of the taffy at him. It knocked him back into the wall and he was stuck. And then Tuxedo Kamen tried to get him, and he got hit too.

Sun Knight (Haruki) got ready to use his Solar Flare attack, but he got hit and his sword was stuck to the sidewalk, and his hands were stuck to the sword. And they're all looking at me, so I take down my tiara and charge it, and I threw it. Perfect aim. No damage! It went right through! And the creature sort of just reshaped itself and tried to hit me with the stuff, so I moved as fast as I could. Thankfully I didn't fall, because it would have gotten me for sure.

Thankfully Mercury appeared, and she threw an attack. But it wasn't the same bubbles as before. This time it was an ice attack. And the Youma sort of hardened, and I threw my tiara at it again, and this time it shattered, and then it became a pile of dust. And I was so thankful that Mercury was there.

The others were freed from the stuff as soon as the thing died, so we all hugged and then Mercury had to go home and so did we. I got back in bed, and I just couldn't help thinking about what would have happened if Mercury hadn't been there. I couldn't have kept dodging forever. Well Luna says that all of the Senshi have different abilities, so I want to know more about the others. I can't wait until we find them all.

Luna said she thinks she knows where one might be, so after school were going to go and see her, and I really hope she is another Senshi, because I think we need more. Some of the attacks are stronger than they used to be, and there are so many of them. And eventually we have to beat the big bosses.

Tsukino Usagi

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Friday (Day 33)  
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Dear Diary,

A lot has happened since yesterday morning before school. A LOT!

Let me start at the beginning…

So, right after school, Ami and I walked over to Shingo's school to pick him up. He was all excited to see us, because he was thinking it was like a covert mission. That's what he kept calling it. I thought that was really funny.

Haruki and Mamoru met us along the way. They'd had to stay and help a teacher, but they let us know before school about it. I guess their school is doing a play, and even though they aren't in it, they are doing other stuff to help and they had to set up this really big piece of scenery the teacher made. Haruki showed me a picture. It was made to look like a castle, and the teacher had painted it all by herself. Osaka-sensei should be an artist.

Anyways… sorry… I get distracted. So we go to the Hikawah Jinja, which has all these stone stairs leading up and up. But when you get to the top you realize it's all worth it, because it's beautiful up there. I mean there are paths and gardens and a koi pond and a willow tree and stuff besides the shrine itself, which actually has one big building and a lot of smaller ones.

So there were these two crows, and they didn't act like normal crows. They kept following us around, and landing on us and stuff, and for some reason they kept messing with my hair, and it sort of freaked me out and I think I might have squealed.

Stupid, I know. But then I saw her. Rei I mean. Hino Rei. She's a miko at the shrine, and she came out and I think she thought the birds were attacking me because she threw this weird paper at me. It landed on my forehead and I sort of crossed my eyes and just looked at it. Then I pulled it off, and she was apologizing, and I couldn't stop laughing, because I guess she thought I was an EVIL SPIRIT. It was so funny!

Okay, the falling over part wasn't very funny, but I couldn't help giggling. It's not like I don't fall over all the time on my own. Well, she felt so guilty she brought us inside and made us tea, which was wonderful. And I got the same feeling from her that I did when I met Ami, so I was almost certain she was one of us.

And then it happened…

There was a knock and then a young man with blonde hair set a tray down, and I glanced over and it was JADEITE! I'm not lying at all. He didn't recognize me. I guess the glamour works too well, but I recognized him. So while he was kneeling there I pulled out the moon wand and I whispered the phrase Luna told me. "Moon Healing Escalation."

The wand started to glow so I hid it under my skirt. And I could actually see his eyes changing color a little. But then he got up and took off like he was really afraid, and I felt bad because I knew he was starting to realize he wasn't supposed to be evil.

Then Rei was staring at me for a long time, and she just kept looking and looking and I wasn't sure what to do, and I really wished I had thought to bring Luna with me. So we made our excuses and were getting ready to leave when this group of women came over to us and started talking mean to Rei.

She looked so sad it just broke my heart. They were saying she had something to do with the missing people. And I wasn't sure what missing people they were talking about. I guess the Sendai Zaka bus has disappeared three times with people on it! It made me really sad too. I didn't know what to do.

But Rei looked like she was going to cry and I just started yelling. I'm not a mean person. I'm really not. But they made me so mad! Couldn't they see that she's just a really pretty girl with a lot of spiritual power because she has training and discipline? So I told them there was no way Rei could be involved and that they were mean and should go away.

Rei was so surprised and I guess grateful that she reached out and hugged me. And I just knew she was meant to be with us. So I gave her the pen that Luna had told me was for Sailor Mars, and I told her she would know when she needed it. She gave me a strange look, but at least she took it.

Then we left and went home. It was too late to check out the bus, so we went and talked to Luna and set up a plan to stake the area out. My dad said I should keep trying to heal Jadeite and he could come and live with us once he was all better.

So then today I went to school again, and we all met up and went to the shrine and talked to Rei for a little while, and then we left. It was already almost six, so we went to the bus stop and set up a watch. Sure enough, it was a Youma disguised as a bus driver. And just after it drove off it started to go into this other dimension. I panicked. There were kids on there… so I called out "Henshin Yo," and all of us transformed and hurried after it before it could disappear.

We got to the back of the bus and held on, and I could see Rei staring at us, and she started running and got to us just as the bus was going through the portal. And then we were in this strange place made all of stone. And Jadeite was there. The Youma was taking away the people's energy, and there was nothing I could do because I had to face Jadeite.

But then he saw Rei and he froze. I pulled out the Moon Wand (which is a much better name than moon stick) and I whispered "Moon Healing Escalation." And I could see his eyes getting clearer and clearer. But he was still staring at Rei.

While I was busy healing Jadeite the others got rid of the Youma, and I didn't see that part, but it was actually Blue Moon Knight who took it down. His first one.

Then all these other Youma started coming in, but I wasn't done healing Jadeite, and he got loose and started going towards Rei. She got nervous and lifted up the transformation pen I gave her and became Sailor Mars, which was awesome. Flames surround her when she changes. Water surrounds Mercury when she does… and I get… ribbons.

Anyways, so Jadeite reaches out and puts his hand on her cheek, and he is just staring and staring at her. And then I said "Moon Healing Escalation," but this time I yelled it, cause there was so much going on, and I was so happy to see it worked really fast. Maybe because he and Rei were so close. And then he was free!

Want to know the really cool thing? His uniform thing was all dark grey and really somber, but now it's really light, almost white, but it has red along the hems for his neck and wrists and down the front where the buttons are, and a cape appeared and it has red lining, and he has the symbol for flame and the symbol for west on one side of his collar and a moon hugging the earth on the other side.

He helped us get rid of the Youma, but there were four buses that had to go back through the portal, and only Mamoru and Haruki could drive them. So we got everyone on two buses and Jadeite helped Mercury reopen the portal and then we brought them back. As soon as we were in Tokyo again I called the police and told them we had brought the people back but they all needed to go to the hospital.

So we waited for the police to get there. And the police wanted to talk to us, because they don't want vigilantes on the streets but they can't fight the Youma. Well I promised that we would tell them whenever there was a Youma, and that we would bring them a special communicator so they could contact us and we could contact them.

They wanted to know who we are, but Tuxedo Kamen said it wasn't safe. He explained that we all have families, and our families could be attacked if the Negaverse people found out our identities, so they accepted it as long as we promise to only attack Youma and the Dark Kingdom people and we did.

We brought Rei back with us and my dad called her grandfather so he came over and they explained all about who we are and what we do. He didn't really seem very surprised at all. And my dad asked why, and he explained that the Great Fire had given him visions of us. So now her grandfather knows all about it, and he is going to let us do our training in this meadow that is hidden in the woods behind the shrine!

Anyways, the whole time my dad was talking to Rei's grandfather, Jadeite was with my mom and me and Mamoru. We had to see what he remembered from before. But like Mamoru he was in an orphanage, so he's going to live with us and my dad is going to be his guardian. Even though he's supposed to be in high school he is going to be in my class because he missed almost two years of school.

So now my dad is busy trying to make the paperwork go through and Haruki and Mamoru and Shingo are all in with Jadeite, just talking. And for now Mamoru is going to stay in that room with him because he didn't want to be alone. So then we all had a really late dinner, and we stayed up and talked for a while.

I'm really happy we saved him. I think it will be good for him to be with us, because Mamo-chan says he is happier now that he is with us. He hasn't fully moved in yet, but now that Jadeite is here, he says he wants to. And Shingo started showing Jadeite all about video games, so that's that. I'm all ready for bed, and Ami and Rei are home. The house is just full of boys...

At least they're all a little afraid of me. He he! I guess I cried too much. But it's not my fault. Mom says it's all the hormones and stuff. Plus I was really happy that we could save Jadeite, and that he was safe.

Tsukino Usagi

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Saturday (Day 34)  
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Dear Diary,

I don't have much to say except that training was very tiring. I think it's interesting how the guys are different from the girls. But then… Mamoru and I are different from the rest of them too. Other than that it was a really good day.

Jadeite is really funny. He likes to play pranks too, so there is a new person for the prank wars. Mamoru doesn't really enjoy pranks like me, Shingo, and Haruki. So now we have Jadeite, and he had a whole bunch of new ideas. Some of them are really funny. Like he put tape around the handle for the sink hose sprayer thing, and then when my brother went to get water he got soaked. It was so funny!

This is going to be so much fun!

Tsukino Usagi

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Sunday (Day 35)  
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Dear Diary,

Everybody is laughing at me! I guess I don't understand sarcasm sometimes. We were talking about how I wanted to go to the dance at this club. Mom told me no, and I said that all my friends were going.

My mom said "I guess that means if all your friends jumped off a bridge, you would too."

And like a total moron, I said " Well that depends on the type of Youma we're facing. What's our battle strategy?"

She did this thing where she threw her hands up and made an aggravated sound. Then everyone started laughing! Even her!

Now I feel stupid.

It's been all quiet since we rescued Jadeite. No Youma, or anything. We did some really intensive training yesterday and today, which was good, because there are things I really need to work on, and then we had to take Jadeite out to get measured for his school uniform and to buy him clothing and stuff. And tomorrow my newest brother/friend/person will be going to school with me!

Tsukino Usagi


	6. Week Six

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Monday (Day 36)  
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Dear Diary,

I can't take much more of these STUPID dreams. It's not fair! Everything is changing and I have to grow up, but if I'm being completely honest I don't want to. If I can't even escape into sleep, then what do I have left?

It is every single night! And it's even worse now that Mamo-chan and I kiss! Because I know just how good kissing feels… even better than the dreams… and it makes me wonder about the rest of it.

The worst part is… I live with all boys except my mom. At least my period stopped, but then right after that the dreams got even worse and I don't know how much more I can take!

It's not fair. My mom says that its normal to have dreams about the boy I love, but that doesn't mean I am ready for them. She says that because I'm almost fifteen, I need to be more aware of what it means to be a woman and that I have to take 'responsibility for my body.'

I don't WANT to grow up yet.

Ami says she dreams about someone too, and Rei admitted she has been dreaming about Jadeite for months now.

Oh, that reminds me… I know Ami and Rei are in the dreams now, and my brother and cousin are there too… but it is all SO DIFFICULT to explain. It's like until I know they are important their faces are shadowed. But I have to meet them to know. Luna says I have to trust my instincts.

But the dreams about my Mamo-chan are worse than the other dreams. I don't really know how to explain it. Maybe because I know now that someday it's possible it could happen for real, or maybe because I know what happens in those dreams could lead to becoming pregnant… I'm SOOOO not ready for that. Honestly, I'm not ready for any of it.

My Mamo-chan would never push me into that. I know he wouldn't, but my body is acting all strange now, and what if we start something and aren't strong enough or smart enough to stop ourselves? And he's EVERYWHERE! He pretty much lives here already, and more of his stuff comes in everyday… and he's not going to have his apartment anymore. I don't even know how to act around him sometimes!

And yeah, I know my dad might be an evil genius for moving him in here so I never get kissed again… ha ha ha… but I think sometimes… what if his plan backfires? What if something happens because he lives here?

Like last night when the old dream ended and I woke up screaming because it's his face I see on Endymion, and I can't bear to watch him die. Mamoru rushed into my room to make sure I wasn't being murdered or something in my sleep. He held me for a few minutes and I just wanted to crawl into his lap and kiss him senseless. Do you see why I hate the dreams? Do you see?

It's all just so unfair.

I am changing the subject now, because I just don't want to think about it anymore.

It's been a long day. First thing this morning my dad had us all up and my mom is practically shoving breakfast into our hands and saying we have to hurry because my dad is driving us to school. Secretly I was thinking I could run there faster… I really hate traffic because it makes me car sick. Anyways, so we rush out the door and get into the car.

My dad ended up registering Jadeite and told the school we might have one more in that class soon and asked if it was okay if Jadeite stayed with me because I'm his friend and I can help him 'readjust to normal life.' He told the school Jadeite had been in an abusive foster home. They never would have believed the truth. Haruna-sensei said she could take on another student or two.

We got Jadeite in class… but he doesn't like to sit still and he can't deal with having people behind him. He says you can't trust people in the Negaverse and that Youma sometimes attack (if they're the mindless ones). So the teacher moved us around and put him at a table with me on the side of the room with our backs to the wall. Ami is in our class too and I thought maybe she would help but he wanted it to be me to sit with him. I guess I make him feel safe.

Maybe it's because I healed him?

Anyways, at lunch time this kid came over and started laughing because Jadeite was 'afraid,' until the moment he stood up and looked at the kid. That's the thing… he is healed now, and I think he is funny and he must have been a happy bubbly person like me or Haruki or Motoki before the Negaverse took him… but he has seen and done so much…

So Jadeite looks this kid in the eye but doesn't say anything at all, and the kid backs up and runs off. As soon as he was gone the look faded, but he was quiet for a bit… so I started playing with my food. My mom makes my rice balls into sheep and stuff so I was pretending they were having a conversation about which pillows were best to lay on when you count sheep and he started laughing and then everything was better again.

Maybe he needs someone to talk to. I don't think they have counselors for 'I was captured and tortured by an evil queen who made me hurt people…' I wonder if I could be there for him. You know, just to listen and stuff. He's sort of like an honorary brother I guess, and I really do care about him. It made me so so so sad when I couldn't heal him the first couple of times. I wanted to save him at the gym. Remember that? I sure do.

That's when Naru and Haruna-sensei got hospitalized. And Haruna-sensei is our teacher. And Jadeite saw Naru in class and at lunch and he recognized her. They didn't remember him, but he says that isn't what's important. He says that it's important that he remembers it.

I don't know how to get through to him. I want him to understand that it wasn't really him that did those things, but I don't know how to make him see it. I wish I could just hug him and make all the pain go away and I can't and it makes me so mad that SHE did this to him. To all of them.

And one of the other boys will be next. Jadeite is really worried about that. He wants us to save them before they can do anything really bad. And I keep telling him over and over that even if they do something bad, it's not really them doing it.

I've heard his screams at night. I know what that chamber thingie did to him. I guess I should explain that, huh? Okay… this is hard to explain because I don't completely understand it myself.

When the four of them were taken from the orphanage, they were immediately put into what Jadeite described as a glass coffin. He calls it chamber though, I think maybe because the word coffin upsets him. Once he was in it they flooded him with dark energy from Metalia. She's like the ultimate evil being. And they took all of his good and happy memories away and filled him with dark and terrible ones. They suppressed his soul. Like made it shrivel and shrivel and it hurt constantly, even long after they took him back out.

And ever since, he and the other generals were forced to search all over the world for the Silver Crystal because Metalia wants to eat its power. Yes, I said eat. She's like this formless black mass but he never saw her. I see her in my dreams though… behind Beryl. And they were forced to release Youma on innocent people to gather energy for Metalia so she can fully wake up. It's scary stuff.

Anyways, school ended and Jadeite and Ami walked with me to the crown and we met up with Haruki and Mamoru and then waited there for Shingo and Rei. We all did our homework there. It turns out Jadeite is really good at geography and stuff, so he helped me with that, and Mamoru helped me with my math and Haruki with my English and Ami with my Kanji. You should see her writing… it's so neat and perfect.

Finally Rei showed up and then Shingo a few minutes later. And Rei's grandfather is trying to talk her dad into letting her switch schools, because mine is closer to the Jinja. Isn't that great?

So we hung out and talked and laughed and even played some games. Ami is a whiz at Sailor V, but she doesn't have the touch. Not like me and Shingo. We have instincts for the game. She's a pro, but she just doesn't love it the way we do. People were actually gathering around to watch us. But I mean, we've been playing the games since they first came out. And now Sailor V is missing they're going to put out a new game.

I didn't tell you about that did I? Well she had some big fight, I guess around the time I met Luna, and all of a sudden she disappeared. People think she might be dead, and others say it's because the bad guys moved on (they did, actually, to Tokyo). But I think she's still around, and I still feel like we are connected somehow. Maybe she's another Senshi.

So, around six we all headed for the Jinja and we ate dinner there. Ami's mom and my parents came too and we all went to the field in the woods and trained. Luna thinks we're all getting better, but she says we need to train every day, even if it's only for a few minutes.

Let me just tell you… their powers are WAY cooler than mine.

Ami (Mercury) uses bubbles and freezing bubbles. She's got a couple attacks already and they get stronger every time she uses them. She's also really, really smart. An actual genius.

Rei (Mars) uses ofuda, which are like spiritual papers that fight off bad spirits, or flames. And I think the flames are just gorgeous. She's also very wise and can use the Great Fire to see what might happen.

Jadeite (West Knight) uses flames or illusions. He's also a bit of a master of disguise. He seems to blend in to whatever he wants. He's also showing a tendency for the spiritual aspects, but different from Rei.

Haruki (Sun Knight) has several attacks from the sun, like solar flare. He seems to have the ability to project the actual light of the sun in small doses. He seems to have an ability to heal relationships, and a bit of physical healing too.

Shingo (Blue Moon Knight) has a couple attacks from the moon, like blue moon radiance which is a really bright attack that sort of overwhelms whatever it touches. He also knows things about people, like, instinctively. Like when they were born, or when something major is going to happen.

Mamoru (Tuxedo Kamen) has his roses, which do all sorts of different things like exploding, or turning into vines. He's also showing the ability to heal, and that's new. I cut my forehead and he kissed it and these golden sparks touched me and it healed. And we think he has another power he just hasn't tapped into, because whenever I am in danger he gets a hot feeling in his chest like something is about to break free, but he has to find out what it is.

And then me (Sailor Moon). I mean Twilight Flash is pretty cool, and really bright, but the other thing… throwing my tiara, is sort of small compared to their stuff, although I can control where it goes with my mind. I can heal using the Moon Wand (not calling it a moon stick like Luna does, cause that's lame) and that makes me happy, but I don't know if my powers are growing like the others. Luna says it's because I don't have my crystal yet, but sometimes I get that same hot feeling in my chest that Mamoru described. She also says I have the ability to heal mental damage, like when someone has been really hurt by something or even actual brain damage because she says I had to change the pathways in Jadeite's brain to heal him.

Oh, and I only had two klutz attacks today. He he. I think I might be getting better finally.

I will say the boys no longer seem to think I need protecting just because I'm a girl. Nope. Now they think I need protecting because I'm a bit of a klutz, I'm too thin, and (in their opinion) I have the best chance of defeating Youma. They also want to keep me safe so I can heal the other generals and turn them back into the Shitennou, which is what they're supposed to be.

Did they somehow forget that even Shingo, who is the youngest, has taken down a Youma? I'm nothing special. Although… the healing from the dark energy thing is important.

Tsukino Usagi

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Tuesday (Day 37)  
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Dear Diary,

Have you ever read back over your diary and thought you might be a little silly or stupid? No? Give it a try, I dare you. So, I was reading my first entry to Ami… minus a couple things… and she says to me…

"If you wanted to make sure it was real, you could have looked at your brooch."

I was thinking 'face palm!' I probably should have thought of that, but then I realized that I need the diary to help me think… so yeah…

Ami is still struggling a little bit with becoming a Senshi. It's not that she doesn't want to do it, she just has this ingrained belief that she isn't worthy, and that upsets me (and her mom). I think maybe it's because her dad left, which is really sad, but she blames herself, which is really wrong. I want to help her realize she is an amazing person and is wonderful and smart and even really funny. She has these occasional witty remarks that make me laugh so hard I'm afraid I'll have an accident.

Jadeite seems to be doing a little better today. School wasn't as bad, and he actually smiled and laughed a lot. I had a talk with him last night… he had a nightmare around the same time I did, so I taught him the nightmare cure.

What's that? Okay… this has to be done just right…

First… boil water for hot chocolate. If you're using the packet thingies you have to use one and a half to make it a bit thicker… and if you are making it from scratch add a little more chocolate to it. That's the key. Add two tablespoons of milk. You add thirteen marshmallows. Thirteen because that's how many my dad put in the first time I had a nightmare and it became part of the tradition. Then you take a pinch (JUST A PINCH) of cinnamon and sprinkle it over the top of the marshmallows. And then you add a cinnamon stick as a stirrer instead of a spoon… because it's fun.

I don't know why this works for me… it just does. So I taught him and he thought it was great. We sat at the table talking for a long time. And then I said something to him about how when I was little I had the chickenpox. I didn't like it. It made me itch all over. But I didn't know I had them, so I ended up giving them to Naru and Umino and even Shingo, who was only three. And I felt really guilty about it. Super horrible.

And he says to me, but it wasn't your fault, you didn't know any better.

And I was all AHA! And I pointed at him. His eyebrows rose so high I thought they might disappear. It was sort of amusing. So I said, when you were under the influence of the dark energy you didn't know any better. He said it wasn't until I caught him with the Moon Wand that he started even remembering who he was. And I reminded him of that and that even after that he was forced to obey against his will.

And he started getting really sad and he cried a little so I hugged him super hard like my mom does when I'm really sad. And after that we just sat and drank our hot chocolate together and stayed pretty quiet. He didn't have another nightmare the rest of the night, and I'm glad. Nightmares suck. Some of mine can be really awful. Not just the memory ones from the old dream, but I sometimes have nightmares about people I've never met and I feel so scared and helpless and I can't break free but I'm trapped and can't move or wake up.

And that's why I love having Luna in my room. She always senses something when I have those dreams and she wakes me up, even if she has to scratch me. She worries I'll get mad at her, but I don't.

So anyways, Jadeite had a much better day, and we went and did training right after school and then went home and we did all our homework. Mamoru and Haruki both helped me again. And then my mom and I started on a project. It's a secret so you can't tell anyone okay?

We are making each of the boys a plaque with their name on it and something special about them. Like for Mamoru it's going to be a rose and a book, and for Shingo it's going to be a game controller and a soccer ball. Haruki gets laughing faces and a sunrise and Jadeite gets a flame and a practical joke thing I saved. And there's going to be other stuff on them too, but we haven't really decided the pieces yet. We just started.

We'll make one for each of the girls too, but right now, this is first. I have some great ideas for Ami. A snowflake and a computer and a book and a pencil. And for Rei a flame and a charm and some sparkling red ribbon. Luna said that there are eight other Senshi besides me, and eventually we will find all of them, but that we can't rush things. They'll come when they're ready and we shouldn't push too hard. Some might be younger than us.

Oh, so I'm going to be taking a gymnastics class and a tai chi class, and possibly even a dance class. My mom thinks it's a good idea to help me with dodging and with my balance. That's all for today because I'm really tired.

Tsukino Usagi

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Wednesday (Day 38)  
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Dear Diary,

It has been such a loooooong day!

Woke up at 4:30AM… for a the first Negaverse attack since we healed Jadeite. We told him he could sit it out just in case one of the others was there but he said he had to know. He doesn't really want to fight them but he is trying to figure out ways to catch them so I can heal them.

And one of them did appear.

They sent Nephrite. Now let me tell you about HIM… oh kami is he huge. I mean so tall it hurts my neck to look up at him! And he's all muscley… like really muscled and big. And he has two swords, which is a bit scary since he isn't on our side yet.

Well he had two Youma with him. We don't know their actual names because they didn't scream them constantly like some Youma, but we nicknamed the ones we fought the Fire and Ice Twins. I bet you can guess why. Tee hee.

So one was throwing fire, and couldn't be hurt by fire. The other was throwing ice, and couldn't be hurt by ice. So Mercury and Mars were pretty busy keeping both of them distracted. Blue Moon and I snuck around behind the fire one. West Knight and Sun Knight snuck behind the ice one. Tuxedo Kamen was watching for one of the dark generals.

Blue and I got the fire one from behind pretty good, but then Kamen calls out and I look behind me and there is Nephrite trying to sneak up on Jadeite (West) and I used the moon wand on Nephrite while he wasn't paying attention, but then I got hit by a stray ice blast and I fell down.

When I got back to my feet he was gone. I felt awful, but Jadeite says he will be fighting it the same way he did.

I was really frustrated though, when I stood up and I guess it got me so mad that I had a lot of power. So when I threw my tiara it took out both of the Youma at once and then it came back and put itself back on my forehead. Shingo said I looked really cool when it happened, so I didn't tell him it was a temper tantrum.

Luna says our powers are tied to our emotions. I think the Youma I dusted the day I started my period was evidence enough of that. The others are still teasing me about it.

We get back home and my dad says we can't go to school because he thinks there is a Youma at Dreamland, which is an amusement park, and we have to go take care of it because a whole bunch of people are missing. Did I mention my dad is a reporter? That's how he figured it out. He contacted the police with the communicator and said we were looking into the disappearances and that we might be calling for medical assistance if we found the people. And I guess they said they would let a couple hospitals know and have emergency services on standby close to the park but out of sight.

We got in Mamo-chan's car and then dad said he was going to pick up Ami and Rei and meet us there. I made him promise he would stay in the parking lot though.

The park was actually pretty cool. There were all sorts of rides and treats and things to see, and I loved it, but Luna reminded me we had a job to do. That's okay though, because I got her to promise that if we did a good job then we could have Saturday off from training so we could actually do some fun teenager stuff.

Then we saw Princess Dream. She seemed sweet and innocent… as a matter of fact, I might have been caught up myself if it wasn't for Rei sensing something was off when she started controlling the robot animals… they were so cute and cuddly looking, and I was just happily adoring a couple of cute little bunnies… not really using my senses.

Then Rei said we needed to pay attention to what she was saying and doing. Princess Dream said there would be a show in the house of sweets in an hour, and somehow we all knew that was where we would find the missing people. I was so thankful that Rei has the ability to sense things like that.

Jadeite told us that Princess Dream is actually a Youma, but we had to find the missing people before we could attack because another Youma or one of the generals could be with them and if she disappeared they would know. So we decided to make our way there.

Unfortunately… we had to ride the kiddie train to get there. Not that I really minded… I thought it was cute and fun, and I think Shingo and Ami did too, but the others were NOT happy about it. I guess Haruki and Jadeite weren't too bad, but Rei was really annoyed, and Mamoru was embarrassed.

I fixed him up though. I got him in the last car and sat right in front of him so we could cuddle… which unfortunately made me remember the dreams so I blushed the whole way and Jadeite kept making silly kissing faces at us which made Mamoru annoyed so he kept huffing. UGH!

Anyway we finally made it there and the doors were locked. We couldn't get in and I was sure people were inside and I was so afraid they were being drained. Well Jadeite and Rei sort of pushed against the handles with a bit of flame and then we were in.

But Princess Dream was waiting for us. She spit out this red mist at us, and it caught me and Rei and Shingo. We ended up in a sort of dream state even though we were awake.

We thought we were in a field of flowers and Princess Dream put a wreath over my head but Rei tried to stop her and the wreath turned into a snake and bit her, and she started turning to stone, and I was so upset and I didn't know what to do. Calmly as you please Rei pulls out an ofuda and does a chant, and the stone is gone.

We got out of the dream and the princess turns into a monster. I think she called herself Mooredo, or maybe Murido but I can't spell that, so that's what you get. And she didn't look too much different. Mostly machine I guess.

Well we transformed and fought her and I used my tiara and then something awesome happened. Mars' Fire Soul attack attached itself to my tiara so that it was really strong and took out the Youma in one hit, and the apple thing she was holding was the last thing to disintegrate, and as soon as it did we could see all the missing people.

Tuxedo Kamen called emergency services, and then Sun and I were standing together and I was really worried and upset and he was too because a lot of the missing people were kids, and then we both sort of started to glow. I lifted up the Moon Wand and he grabbed it too and this really bright light came out of it and shone over everyone and then people started to wake up.

Both of us were really tired after that. It felt like... when you're swimming for hours and suddenly get out of the water. The way your whole body feels really heavy and it takes effort just to move. We actually needed a little bit of help getting back to the cars. And then my dad saw how pale I was and asked what happened and when the others told him he was proud, but also really worried.

But, on the plus side, his worry made him think about my weight so he took us to the Crown and let us all have massive amounts of snacks and shakes and we just got to play games and talk and laugh the rest of the afternoon until training time. And then he made me and Haruki sit out on training.

That's pretty much my day.

Tsukino Usagi

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Thursday (Day 39)  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Dear Diary,

There's this really awesome embassy masquerade ball tomorrow night. The Princess of D Kingdom is coming to reveal a special jewel and Luna says we need to go look into it. She says it may be the Silver Crystal. She says I need the Silver Crystal to get my full strength.

It was a boring day, and I'm tired. I'm going to bed early

Tsukino Usagi

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Saturday (Day 41)  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Dear Diary,

I was too tired to write last night. We didn't get back until around one in the morning, otherwise I would have been a writing fool. Did all the normal stuff. School. Arcade. Training. Dinner…

BUT THEN….

We got to use the Luna Disguise Pen to dress up like princesses and stuff. Ami and Rei and I absolutely loved it! You should have seen us! We were gorgeous.

Ami was wearing this beautiful light blue dress with flowy short sleeves and a V neck and it sort of cinched in at the waist and flowed down to just past her knees.

Rei had on a dress that was just shy of red and it had this band around the top that circled the whole way around the dress except it went around her upper arms too, and it was more of a pink color. It had a single flower on it and the dress went down past her knees too, almost to her feet. She was also wearing really long white gloves that went up even higher than the ones with our fuku.

My dress was pink too, but lighter, and long and flowing, trimmed with flowers along the bodice which was heart shaped and it was cinched at the waist with flowers and had a bow in the back. I had on long white gloves too. It was all trimmed in silver too.

Mamoru and the others dressed up, but they weren't as happy about it as us girls. We just used the Luna Pen on them too. It was sort of fun because it gave them accent colors. Mamoru's were gold, Haruki's were orange, Shingo's were blue, and Jadeite's were red.

We all went into the ball, even my dad, who was reporting on it, and Luna who sort of snuck in under my skirt. He he. Poor Luna. Anyways we mingled and searched high and low for any sign of Nephrite or Princess D, but she was closeted in with an advisor or something.

Someone spilled punch on my dress and I couldn't get it out. I had just gone on the balcony to get some air (and yes, okay, to sulk a little) when I heard people yelling. Mamoru came out behind me, except he was Tuxedo Kamen, and he said someone had attacked the princess. But then she was there, right behind me and she pushed me over the edge of the balcony. I was falling, and I think I screamed… but Tuxedo Kamen caught me.

Then something or someone must have bumped into him, neither of us saw, and he was somehow over the edge too, but he didn't let go of my hand, and he was holding on and trying to pull me up at the same time. Then his hand slipped from the railing and we were falling. I don't know why I pulled out the Luna Pen, but I did and it turned into an umbrella and we sort of floated down.

Now…. let me make this perfectly clear. I watched Mary Poppins as a child. And I TRIED using an umbrella to fly… IT DID NOT WORK. Instead I ended up with my very first concussion and my second broken bone. I think I was six. So… I KNOW the physics don't work. That umbrella shouldn't have been able to save us… but it did.

Moving on.

So it turns out Nephrite had used his shadow to possess Princess D and she didn't even know what was happening, but once we got to the ground we hid so we could henshin and then went back inside as Sailor Moon and Tuxedo Kamen. Everyone was passed out on the ballroom floor.

We found Nephrite and I used the wand on him. I think I must be getting closer. His eyes started changing like Jadeite's did, but he disappeared before I could finish. And Princess D came out of her trance and showed the jewel, which happened to be a diamond shaped like the very first Princess D. Talk about a disappointment.

So today we didn't have to do any training because Luna promised me. YAY! Which meant we got to just hang out or do what we wanted. Guess what? Jadeite took Rei on a date! Isn't that the best thing ever?

Well, other than the fact that Mamoru took me out on a date too. He he. It was our second date if you want to be technical, although we constantly hang out and he lives at my house, so I see him every day. He took me out to the movies and then we got ice cream and walked in the park. He showed me this wonderful rose garden and we sat there for probably two hours just talking and kissing. Okay, mostly kissing… but it's to be expected right? I mean, we're teenagers.

Anyways he was really respectful about it, for the most part, and didn't push for anything. But if he thinks I'm not perfectly aware that he found ways to touch my breasts he's got another think coming. We're going to move slow. That's the deal. I might just have to hit him over the head with the Moon Wand to remind him. He he.

Because let me just say this… I am NOT ready for kids. And until I am... no touchy!

Anyways, now I'm cuddled up in my bunny pajamas and Ami and Rei are going to be here soon to spend the night, so I suppose I will write more later.

Tsukino Usagi

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Sunday (Day 42)  
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Dear Diary,

Today was just awful. After training we all sort of went our own ways to do our own things. I decided to go shopping to see if I could find some new outfits because my stupid body is changing too much. First, I lost more weight, which is making my mother absolutely crazy, but at the same time my awful, stupid, horrible, PAINFUL, growth of breasts has continued, which meant I had to get new bras.

Do you have any idea how embarrassing it is to shop for those? Especially when the sales lady kept commenting on how they weren't done growing and wanted me to get a bra that adjusted (and was four times the price). I decided against that for a couple of reasons… the main one being the adjustors looked like they would break too easily. I just bought two regular ones in my size and a sports one.

But I went down a pant size and up a shirt size, which is really frustrating. But there was another sales lady who showed me these really pretty flowy shirts that have sort of crushed or pleated fabric that can expand as I grow. And they have adorable little designs on them. I got one that had roses on it in red and pink and white, which reminded me of Mamo-chan. He he.

Anyways, I got two new sundresses, a pair of jeans, a pair of shorts, and four shirts. I hope that's enough because that was all the money I had for clothes shopping. (I even added some of my allowance to it so I could get the fourth shirt.) You might be thinking, the girl wears a uniform to school five days a week, why does she need so many clothes… I'M STILL A GIRL! Duh!

All of that was okay I guess, but then I was walking home and when I turned the corner I accidentally bumped into someone. I apologized as I picked myself up of the ground. Unfortunately I happened to bump into one of a group of several guys, and they were bullies. They started shoving me around and one of them took my bags and pulled out one of the bras and I was just humiliated, but I couldn't transform and kick their butts… and I just sort of started crying and then they were calling me a crybaby and teasing me, and I thought one of them was about to touch me… I screamed. Long and loud at the top of my voice.

This girl comes around the corner. I never did catch her name, but she was beautiful and tall and had rose earrings that I noticed even as she pushed me behind her and stood in front of me. She ordered the guys to give me back my stuff and then when they didn't she got mad and told them they needed to stop picking on me and gave them a last warning. When they still didn't listen she grabbed the leader's hand and twisted it up and behind his back and ordered the others to give my stuff back.

They gave everything back and she told them to run away. Once they were gone she let the guy go and told him to run too. And then she started walking away. I ran after her and thanked her, and she said that I needed to be more careful and then she left. I wish I could have found out her name.

Well anyways, I got back home, and I guess I looked a mess because Mamo-chan took one look at me and asked what happened and the whole story came out and now he doesn't want me going out without him… but there is NO WAY I am taking him with me to go bra shopping! Besides, that's the first time I've dealt with bullies I couldn't handle. Normally I talk my way out of it. Okay, and a couple of times I've had to resort to a hit or two, but that's really rare, and usually only if someone was messing with my brother.

But now my dad is all insistent that because I'm a girl I need self defense classes. I don't know when I'm supposed to add those in! I start gymnastics tomorrow and tai chi on Tuesday! An what do you want to bet my mom will have me in dance and some other martial arts class within a week?

I just want to veg out and play video games!

Tsukino Usagi


	7. Week Seven

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Monday (Day 43)  
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Dear Diary,

I am really tired. It was a long day that started with a battle before school. I mean, it was five in the morning, and only Jadeite and I were awake... nightmares again... and then all of a sudden I had this icky, gross feeling wash over me. I knew what it was, and then we all had to head out before the sun was even up. We got there and this thing had these ten long tentacles. Sun Knight named it the Tentopus, which made everyone laugh.

Nephrite wasn't there, and I have to admit I was thankful about that. I don't think I had it in me to try and heal him this morning. Not after the night I had. Nightmares suck. The fight didn't last long. Rei and Ami never even got to us before the thing was Moon-Dusted. My brother has started calling it that whenever we destroy a Youma because they tend to turn to dust and either land in a pile on the ground or float away on the wind.

School was a long, drawn-out, awful thing. Mamoru set Jadeite to 'look out for me,' as though I am completely helpless or something. It's not my fault I ran into those bullies. It isn't as though they're at my school or anything. Kami only knows how he thinks I'm in danger there. Anyways, Jadeite even wanted to stand guard outside the bathroom, and at that point I almost lost it. I explained to him, with the help of Ami and Naru, that I was in no danger of running into those freaks in the school bathroom. First, they're high school kids, and second, they're boys.

Ugh!

I really can't wait until Rei starts coming to school with us. He'll be so busy following her around he might just leave me alone!

Anyways, after school I went to the first of my new activities... I love gymnastics! It was so much fun. I'm in a class with a bunch of older teens who didn't start the sport as kids. Anyone who did is leagues ahead of us, and to be honest, most of those younger kids compete.

Those of us who are new to gymnastics have a lot of reasons for doing it.

A few of the girls are taking the class to help with dancing, one for cheerleading, and one for the fun and challenge of learning something new. There are only two boys in the class. One is there because he wants to use the skills to create a new form of martial arts. Apparently he is taking three different types of martial arts. Wow! The other boy didn't say why he was there. He didn't talk much at all actually, but he seemed really shy so we didn't push him too hard.

Can I just toot my own horn here a bit? I'm actually rather good at gymnastics. Maybe because I have to get away from stupid Youma all the time. It sort of came naturally, the rolling and tumbling and everything. We were just doing basic stuff, but it was sooooo much fun!

Mamoru met me at the classroom door and walked with me to the command center under the Crown Game Center. Luna wanted to talk to us about what our responsibilities were as the Prince and Princess. She's absolutely sure that's who we are now. It's sort of upsetting actually. She seems to think we need to learn to lead the planet. I wanted to remind her that we don't have a planet-wide royal family anymore, but the moment I opened my mouth to argue, she pouted. POUTED! What am I supposed to do with that? I actually felt guilty for not wanting to take the responsibility. 

Look, the truth is, I remember far too much of our past lives. I remember meeting Endymion, and falling in love with him. I remember making love in the rose garden, our secret Soul-Bonding ceremony, and the wedding we shared with our friends. I remember feeling pressured to produce an heir and fight against this great big evil. And I remember him dying, and me.

And if that wasn't bad enough, I remember what it was like to be a princess. Lessons that lasted hours for things as silly as how to sit properly, and the best ways to say hello, how to use a fan, and what types of chemise to wear under what dresses. I remember having very little choice over how my own life would go. Not being able to choose so much as my own dance partner at a ball. Not being allowed to choose what dress I wore, or even to put the gowns on by myself. It was a constant mess, trying to be this perfect person when all I wanted was a normal life. 

I was expected to know exactly what to say, and how to say it. I always had to have perfect manners, and I had to be perfect. That's impossible! 

I don't want that life back. I like being me now. I like the life of Tsukino Usagi. I like being seen as an average fourteen year old, and playing video games... Now I'm taking gymnastics, and all sorts of other things and Luna made me take a whole stack of books on politics for a bunch of other planets, many of which no longer even have life! I mean I understand if we have to fight... but I don't want to be a princess again. I just don't! Is that so wrong?

Tsukino Usagi

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Tuesday (Day 44)  
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Dear Diary,

Today was long, exhausting, frustrating, and just plain awful. Not only did I have a surprise test this morning, but I was ten minutes late to class, so I had to hurry through it and I know I got at least two questions wrong. UGH! As if it's not hard enough waking up early to fight stupid Youma, I have to deal with school.

Naru and Umino were arguing at lunch time. I don't know what it was all about, but I gather he said something stupid because, well… he's Umino. That boy has never had a filter. He doesn't stop to think before he says something. He isn't stupid. As a matter of fact, he's nearly as smart as Ami. That doesn't mean he's wise. Anyway, the worst part of their argument was that Umino jumped up to storm away and knocked his fried shrimp into my lap, so now my school skirt is all stained. I doubt I'll be able to get the grease stains out.

I had my newest extracurricular activity today too, and I didn't get to see my Mamo-chan first, which made me sad. Jadeite was still following me around, on Mamoru's request, and I wanted to scream at him. It just makes me so angry that they don't see me as a strong and capable person. I thought maybe they would realize I can take care of myself, but I guess I was wrong. Sorry... tangent.

Tai Chi is not easy, but it isn't what I was expecting either. Most of it is about balance and having control over your own body. That has never been my strong suit. It's definitely not as fun as gymnastics, and I have no natural talent for it, unfortunately. 

At least I made a new friend. She's lived in Japan most of her life, but I guess she was born in America. Her parents both work in Tokyo, and she knows Japanese as well as I do. Her name is Ronnie, and she is really pretty and smart, but very quiet. She doesn't like it when people get behind her. It actually reminds me a bit of Jadeite. I think maybe she must have been attacked by the Negaverse or something. I say something because she seems to be afraid of boys. That makes me sad. 

Why do people hurt each other? 

Anyway, Ronnie has brown hair and eyes and is a few years older than me. She goes to high school, in the tenth grade, but at a private school for girls only. Oh, and what a wicked sense of humor. That sort of sarcastic dry wit where she says something under her breath and I just want to roll on the floor laughing until my sides split. She has been taking Tai Chi for about a month, and she's pretty good at balancing.

I am not. As a matter of fact, I am just plain awful at it. I not only fell down, I took several other students with me. The sensei was not amused. Neither was I for that matter. That's when I met Ronnie. I was sent to the back of the class where I would have less chance of harming other students, and she was the only other one back there. By the time class was over, I was ready to call it a night.

Mamo-chan was waiting for me when I got done and we started walking home, but then my stupid communicator went off and we had to go fight a Youma that had bad breath. I mean that quite literally. It's breath could knock over a plane! When it blew on people they went tumbling backward. You try fighting that when you weigh barely a hundred pounds!

So not only did my skirt smell like shrimp, my hair smelled like halitosis! 

At least Haruki was able to sneak up behind it and get in a good shot, because every time I moved it breathed at me again. It was just plain awful. So, when we finally got home, dinner was cold. I still ate it. It was a very long day after all. But that doesn't mean I liked it. Okay, to be fair it was still yummy. I just wish it had been yummy AND hot.

Then I took a really long shower. I feel a bit better but

CONTINUED

That I was not expecting. I was busy writing in my journal when all of a sudden the communicator starts beeping and we had to run out to fight another Youma. This one was on a cruise ship of all things. It yelled it's name, repeatedly. Thetis. Who comes up with these names anyway? Anyways, the ship had just left the dock when we got there, and it hadn't even shown itself yet, but Jadeite knew about it so we found it pretty quickly.

We had to jump from the dock onto the back of the ship, which was actually sort of fun. Not quite as scary as jumping from one skyscraper as the next, so I actually enjoyed it. All the people clapped, but then they looked worried, because we only show up when there's a problem. And boy was there a problem. Thetis started draining everyone and they were dropping to the deck all over the place. 

We ended up in the cargo hold fighting it, and it was a bit frightening because I guess the ship wasn't new and pretty the way it looked when we saw it at first. It was actually a wreck and there was a hole in the side bigger than a car! We had to maneuver around all sorts of debris and old storage crates and the inner workings of the ship. It got a pretty good hit on Sailor Mars, but then I Moon Dusted it with my tiara.

Nephrite was there this time and I was able to get him with a short dose of healing before he disappeared. I wish I could get him to sit still long enough to help him for real. It's sort of hit or miss though. Well, Mamoru yelled at me for showing myself, and that upset me, but I had other things to worry about. Sun Knight and I healed people as best we could while Sailor Mercury steered the ship back to the dock. Blue Moon called for the first responders and by the time we got the boat back they were waiting for us. 

Everyone was okay, but some of them might be tired and sleepy for a few days. Meanwhile Sun Knight and I are exhausted. 

Now I'm back home, laying on my bed, with Mamoru knocking on my bedroom door, but I'm not talking to him right now. I tried to tell him I'm not the helpless baby he thinks I am, but I guess he wasn't listening because he got mad at me for moving from behind the crate to take the shot at the Youma and heal Nephrite. I don't know what else to do about him. I even tried talking to my dad, but he thinks Mamoru is being perfectly reasonable.

I think I might go on strike.

How do they expect me to heal anyone if I can't see them? Boys are STUPID! 

Tsukino Usagi

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Wednesday (Day 45)  
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Dear Diary,

You know what its like when you love someone, but you feel hurt and angry, and you wonder if they know you at all? I do.

I love Mamoru. My Mamo-chan. I love him with everything I have. I didn't even know it was possible to fall in love with someone so quickly and easily. So completely. But I feel like he doesn't respect me, which means he doesn't see me. I know I got close to bullies. I know I can be a bit of a klutz. But somehow or another I managed to survive fourteen and three-quarters years without him in my life to 'protect me.'

Ha! Protect me my butt! He's driving me crazy! He spent more than an hour trying to get me to come out of my bedroom last night. And when I finally did, he said I needed to stop being all emotional about it and see reason! I smacked him, went back in my room and locked the door, then snuck out of the house and ran to the Jinja. I called my mom as soon as I got there, and she wasn't mad, but my dad sure was.

Well, I won't be going back home until they realize that I'm not some porcelain doll to be kept on a shelf and only brought out when I'm needed to dust a Youma. Rei and I called Ami and she rushed right over. We had a 'men are stupid,' tea party at ten o'clock, and then went to bed because even though boys suck, we still have school and stuff. 

Now the three of us are at school. We got here really early because I don't want to see or talk to Mamoru until I've had a chance to calm down and until he realizes he's an ass! That's right. I said it. My boyfriend is an ass!

So, I'm just sitting at my desk, and now Rei is in with the registrar because she's starting school here as of today. Ami is studying, so I decided to write about what happened. We still have almost an hour before school starts, and at this point I just want my teacher to show up. To be honest, I'm a little worried Mamoru will come right into the school and try to talk to me. I'm really not ready for that.

I think if I could just get him to understand that having different sex organs doesn't make me less than him...

CONTINUED

Thank the Kami for small miracles! Mamoru did show up, but our principal was just coming into the room with Rei when he did, and when he realized Mamoru wasn't a student he sent him away. Score one for school rules, right!? It's the middle of class, and thankfully I am back in my normal seat next to Naru because Rei is sitting with Jadeite. It's a good thing too because I might punch him. Seriously. He seems to think Mamoru is right and I need to be 'protected.' 

What crap! 

I'm just glad I don't have gymnastics or tai chi today. I'm not really in the mood for either of them. Maybe kickboxing, if the target can be Mamoru's mouth! I know I'm being ridiculous, but I just can't help it. He really hurt my feelings, and he doesn't even seem to think he's done anything wrong. Do I yell at him for taking out Youma? No! Do I yell at him if he happens to be unlucky enough to get hit by one? No! Do I treat him like he is stupid or worthless? No! 

I rest my case. 

I don't know how to get through to Mamoru. I love him. But I'm not a piece of property. You think I'm being ridiculous don't you? Well, last I checked I had the right to make decisions for myself. If I'm wrong... I'm leaving. I won't be in a relationship, or even a family, where I am not seen as an actual person. 

CONTINUED

I ran away... and broke up with my boyfriend. 

I bet you want to know why. Ugh. Let me start at the beginning. I called my mom, and she said it was fine to go to the Jinja with Rei and Ami. We had a break from training for the day because Luna had someone she wanted to talk with. All hush hush or something. Anyways, mom thought it was fine. She told me to have fun, and I was. I was in the garden with Rei and her grandfather was telling jokes and flirting. He does that a lot. I was laughing and having a great time, and then Mamoru showed up. 

He said, and I am quoting here, "you're being ridiculous. It's time to come home." 

I said no. what else would I say after everything? He's faced bullies before. I know because Motoki told me. He was actually bullied a lot when he first started high school. But for some reason when I get bullied by perfect strangers, I'm considered helpless and pathetic... ugh... anyways, so I tried to talk to him calmly and explain that he had hurt my feelings and made me feel worthless. 

He talked right over me, and then tried to pick me up and take me home no matter what I wanted. So I ran from him and hid in Rei's room with the door locked. Until Mamoru called my father, and he ordered me to come out and go home, even though my mother said I could be there. So I go home, but at this point, I am completely refusing to talk to Mamoru because not only wont he listen to me, he spoiled my fun time and then called my father just because he didn't get his way. 

So then my dad comes home from work and says I am grounded. I was not happy. I told him I had permission to go to the shrine, but he reminded me that I had snuck out last night and says that's why I am grounded. I tried to explain that Mamoru practically chased me out of the house because he wouldn't leave me alone, but he wouldn't listen. At that point something in me snapped. I don't know why. 

I started to cry, and then Mamoru was trying to cuddle with me, so I pushed him away and told him if he didn't respect me, I wouldn't be his girlfriend anymore. Then I told my father he had a ridiculous double standard and if he couldn't treat me as equal with the boys I didn't want to be his daughter anymore. So I went upstairs, packed a few outfits into my subspace pocket, snuck out onto my balcony and ran away. 

Granted, I have nowhere to go, and very little money. I can't go to any of the places people would expect me to be. I can't go to the arcade, or to Rei or Ami's places. I can't go to Naru or Umino. So I came somewhere no one would ever expect me to go. School. The roof access door isn't locked, so I snuck inside and now I'm at the top landing, sitting on hard concrete and writing by the emergency lights. 

Why can't I stop crying? 

Tsukino Usagi

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Thursday (Day 46)  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Dear Diary,

Last night was awful. I barely slept at all. I think I might have gotten a few hours if you add all of it up together, but right after I laid down, Mamoru showed up. Apparently there are locators inside the communicators. 

Mamoru yelled at me for scaring him. I yelled at him for treating me like I wasn't even a person and told him to go away. Then he grabbed me and carried me home even though I was kicking and screaming. I didn't want to go back. I didn't want to be near him either. 

My dad and mom both yelled at me. So I just went into my room and tried to lay down, but Mamoru couldn't just drop it. He came into my room and started trying to talk to me. I told him to leave me alone, and that I didn't want to talk to him, but he wouldn't listen. So I screamed for him to get out of my room or I was leaving. 

Then my dad came in and told me I was being ridiculous and childish and that if I couldn't act my age then I didn't deserve any of my privileges. I was like, what privileges, I'm not allowed to so much as walk by myself anymore. I have no control over where I go, or what I do, and my life is completely overtaken by a job I didn't want and a destiny I'd rather not have. I don't want to be a stupid princess. I don't want to be a superhero. I don't want to take classes on tai chi and whatever else they throw at me. 

What I want is what I had two months ago. I want to wake up late and run for school. I want to get yelled at by my teacher. I want to go to the arcade and eat junk food and drink milkshakes until it hurts my stomach, and play video games and not do my homework. 

Now I wake up at four every morning with nightmares, have a Youma battle before school, but always arrive on time. I never get in trouble and my homework is always done. I have classes and stupid trainings and more Youma battles, and I don't get to be a carefree teenager anymore. I have no privileges. I'm responsible for saving people I've never even met and destroying big scary monsters, and I get yelled at for even trying to do that by my boyfriend, because in spite of everything I do, he doesn't think I'm good enough, and my dad sides with him because he thinks I'm too stupid, weak, and helpless to so much as walk to school by myself. 

That's when my mom came in. She made them leave and just held me and let me cry. Moms really are the most wonderful people on the planet. Anyways, by this point its almost two in the morning, and I guess I must have cried myself to sleep, but I woke up at about three because there was a Youma. So I went out and fought it, and then went back home and did my stupid homework because there was no point trying to go back to bed. 

After that it was school and then gymnastics. I didn't even bother talking to anyone. I just couldn't deal with it. And then we had to fight another Youma, and by this point I was so exhausted, I stumbled and fell right into it's path and got hit pretty bad with acid. Yeah... it spit acid. Stupid Negaverse. So I got burned all over my arm and upper chest and Tuxedo Kamen healed me, and then I took out the Youma and left. 

I was walking home, by myself, but Mamoru found me and started walking with me. I told him to go away, but he wouldn't listen. Well this hot feeling came over me. I had enough. I don't know how, but one minute I was standing in the middle of the park, staring at Mamoru, and the next thing I know, I'm on the moon. Yes, the moon. And I had no idea how to get back home. 

Well, this tiny little woman in blue appeared in front of me. It was the Queen. Some sort of projection of her or something. Well she asks me if I'm okay, and everything starts coming out. Even the stuff I haven't told anyone. All about how I feel and why I feel it and this big dreadful weight of responsibility that is just hanging over my head. And how everyone expects me to be perfect, and no matter what I do, I can't live up to those expectations, and the way Mamoru keeps hurting my feelings because he doesn't think I am worth anything as a warrior, and the way my father isn't giving me a break even though it's Mamoru who keeps pushing and pushing until I get so mad I have to react or go insane. 

I felt so much better after I told her everything. She listened and gave me advice. But the advice didn't make a lot of sense. All she really said, paraphrasing here, was to be myself. Uh, that's what I've been trying to do and it keeps backfiring. So then she tells me that what I did was teleportation, and that all of us have the ability to do it and she walked me through getting back home. 

It's pretty simple actually. You just visualize where you want to be, and you wish to be there. So I wished to be in my bedroom. Now I'm home. My dad tried to punish me for 'running away' but my mother told him he was being ridiculous because it wasn't like I actually tried to run away. It was just a new power manifesting itself. She let me eat dinner in my room and I have the door and both windows closed and locked, and the curtains drawn and I'm just sitting here at my desk writing. 

It's all just so overwhelming. I never wanted any of this. Not the dreams, or the powers, or any of it. I mean, I love Mamoru, and I am so happy to have new friends in my life. But it wasn't like I sought any of it out. It wasn't like I tried to become a superhero. 

Tsukino Usagi

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Friday (Day 47)  
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Dear Diary,

Tai Chi went better. I wasn't perfect, or even all that good, but I didn't knock anyone down, and that was an improvement. Ronnie and I talked for a while. She'd pretty great. Strong and independent and even though she can be really nervous around guys, she stays in complete control. I sort of wanted to stay at tai chi and not go home. 

Mamoru apparently wasn't aware that we had broken up. He showed up outside of class to walk me home and I was actually surprised. I don't know why I should have been. I knew he wasn't going to suddenly realize I wasn't a pathetic, helpless, weakling... but a girl can hope. Well, he tried to kiss me and I asked him what he thought he was doing. He's like, I'm kissing my girlfriend. I reminded him we had broken up and he just stared at me. 

Just stared. For a long time. Then he asked why. 

At that point I just threw my hands up and started walking. Then I explained to him that I wouldn't be in a relationship with him because he didn't respect me. He said he does respect me, and that made me laugh. 

So I asked him when the last time was that he yelled at Jadeite or Haruki during a fight because they did their job. I asked him why he wasn't insisting on walking the other girls home too... and why he acted like everyone but me could make good decisions. I reminded him that he wouldn't even let me have time to cool down after he upset me, and that he acted like I was somehow stupid because he hurt my feelings. 

He was quiet after that. Really quiet. So we just walked home, like that. Quiet. 

After dinner the communicator buzzed. Ami's Mercury computer sensed a Youma, and I didn't even feel it. So we all went out looking. None of us could track whatever it was and I was starting to get really worried. Then we saw a bunch of teenagers acting strange. They were throwing bottles through windows and writing graffiti. That sort of thing doesn't happen here. So we approached, carefully. 

We fought a new Youma. This one was scary. Shadar. It only said it's name once, and it was obviously intelligent. The most intelligent Youma I think I've ever seen, and I've seen quite a few of them. It had the ability to sort of push negative feelings. As soon as the kids saw us the Youma came out and told them to fight us and they attacked. We couldn't hurt them and it was difficult to get around them to stop the Youma. 

And then I had an idea. 

Remember how I found myself on the moon? Well, now that I knew how to teleport, I did it again, this time on purpose. I was afraid those kids would get hurt if I didn't react quickly. So I teleported right in front of it, with the Moon Wand out and ready, and shouted "Moon Healing Escalation." The Youma was dusted, but it actually took more energy than normal. But we still had to get the kids healed and sent home and called the first responders and told them it wasn't the kids fault they were acting that way. 

By the time we got home I could barely stand. So now I am laying in bed writing. I'm tired and I don't feel very well. I think I'm just going to go to bed a little early. 

Tsukino Usagi

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Sunday (Day 49)  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Dear Diary,

I've been really sick. I couldn't get out of bed at all yesterday. I even had to have help getting to the bathroom. I was supposed to start my self-defense class, but I couldn't go. I couldn't eat or drink anything. The few times I managed to choke something down I threw it back up a few minutes later. I had a horrible fever too, and apparently I was delirious. I've never been that sick before. 

My mom is pretty upset. I guess on top of everything else I've lost another four pounds. I'll just say it's hard to eat when you're depressed. I mean, with Mamoru and my dad both acting like I am stupid and helpless, and having all these responsibilities, and I still haven't saved Nephrite... it's no wonder I'm sad. 

Mamoru and I are officially back together though. I wasn't sure I should give him another chance, but he says he finally understands why I was so upset and will try to do better. He was really sweet too. He's been so nice while I've been sick. 

I promise I will explain more later, but I am so tired. I need to sleep. 

Tsukino Usagi


End file.
